


Major Kira's Secret

by ladykardasi



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Het, Masturbation, Romance, Sexual Tension, Songfic, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 20:10:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10906599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykardasi/pseuds/ladykardasi
Summary: Kira plays Dabo with Ezri Dax and finds herself enjoying it since she wins a lot. But the Klingons who are losing don't like her idea to leave before giving them a chance to win back their gold pressed latinum. Kira is forced to run off with two angry Klingons on her trail straight into the arms of the last person she wants to see ...He could imagine her white skin and what it would look like in the pale starlight. It would be softer than Cardassian cotton, paler than the sands of the beaches at the K'Tar Province. Her nipples would be red, like the Terran cherries he had tasted so long ago. What would she taste like? Like Risean strawberries, sweeter than Bajoran spring wine?





	Major Kira's Secret

_"All the people_  
Tell me what would they say  
If they knew her,  
How she hides it away?  
Locked inside,  
There's a start of a flame  
And the feelings  
She never will tame  
And she's walking around like a mystery  
There's a woman that nobody sees -  
Living inside..." THRILLS IN THE NIGHT - KISS "Adrenalize"1984 

*** Part 1 - DAX'S IDEA ***

Kira laughed out loud. Her chest filled with joy at the site of all the gold-pressed latinum she had won. Dax' idea of a game at the Dabo tables hadn't been so bad after all. Kira was tired when her shift was over, but Dax had come over and practically twisted her arm to get her to go out for a while. It was amazing how much alike Ezri and Jadzia were - and how  
different. 

Dax had been ill for a while and was bored to tears. 

"It's driving me crazy!" Dax complained. 

"What, you can't live without being involved in station business for only a week?"  
Kira teased, and that was when Dax had smiled and known she would go with her to Quark's this evening. And from the look of things it hadn't been such a bad idea... 

But this was it. It was enough. She had been sitting there for hours and now it was time to turn in. Ezri knocked her in the side with her brows frowned. 

"Nerys! You can't leave now. They'll kill you!" 

Kira looked up and the smile on her lips faded. The Klingons around her did not look at all happy at the prospect of her leaving. They obviously didn't enjoy her winnings as much as she did. 

Kira rose. 

"I am the Second in Command of this station. Are you accusing me of cheating?" she challenged. . 

The Klingons growled. They were a messy bunch and the fact that she was the Bajoran liaison officer to the Federation didn't seem to impress them much. But she refused to let them scare her. She wished she had brought her phaser. But why in the name of the Prophets should she have to carry that thing around when she was off duty?

She scraped up the bars of latinum she had won and turned around to leave. But behind her she knew the drunken Klingons were getting more upset by each moment that passed by. She could hear Jadzia behind her trying to settle the crowd, but she didn't wait to find out if her friend succeeded. So, she just strode out of the bar, not looking back. She didn't run, but she wished she could. She wished she had been wearing her communicator and asked Odo for help or gotten Captain Sisko to beam her out of there with a site-to-site transport. 

Kira cursed silently in her head. Vanity was not a good thing. Just because the communicator hadn't gone with the dress… Prophets, how could she have been so stupid? What if there was an emergency on the station? And she wasn't wearing her comm-badge? Kira kept cursing as she heard the Klingons disgruntled voices speaking to Ezri. It seemed her friend didn't have much success in calming them down. 

"It was a fair game", she told herself. A sudden pang of suspicion nagged at the edges of her mind. "Quark would never do *that*!" she said loudly as she looked over her shoulder. But in the back of her mind she knew, that maybe that Ferengi bartender really would. He had always been a bit smitten with her. If he thought that her winning would bring her back to Quark's more often... 

Instead of pursuing the thought she looked back. She could see the first Klingon coming out of Quark's with his 'Daq'tagh' in hand. His eyes were red from all the Blood Wine he had been drinking and Kira realized that there was no time for to get to her room. It was too far away. She would have to hide. But where? 

If the situation hadn't been so grim she would have laughed. Chased through the Promenade by a drunken Klingon? A very upset Klingon no less... 

"Damn you Dax!" she spat. "I knew I never should have listened to you!" 

The Klingon was running and she tried to get away from him, but the latinum was heavy and her long dress made it difficult for her to outrun even an intoxicated Klingon. She didn't want to give the latinum back to the Klingons - at least not until she had spoken to Quark. 

"If that *toad* has made me cheat I'm gonna... " she began. 

But her thoughts were quickly interrupted by the growl of another Klingon behind the first one. And this one wasn't nearly as drunk as the other one. She had to hide. She slid into a corridor and chirped the doorbell of the first quarters she could find. She waited for nearly a minute, hearing the Klingons stumbling closer. No, she had to do something drastic. She overrode the security protocols and ran into the quarters locking the door behind her. 

The room was dark. No lights were on and the only illumination came from the round windows letting the stars lend their pale light to the environment. She looked around to try and make sure that she was alone and then she sat down on a chair by the door waiting for the Klingons to leave so she could find her way back to her own quarters. She was not planning on staying here any longer than she absolutely had to. But they had stopped outside the door. 

One of them must have seen her get in there. She could hear himself throw his body against the door - growling in anger, or pain? As if he was strong enough to even make dent in it? Kira couldn't help but giggle at the situation. Mind you, she hadn't been drinking much, but a couple of glasses of Bajoran spring-wine always made her see life with a bit more humor… 

But all of the sudden all the commotion ended and the angry drunks outside must have left. Kira rose to get out of there before they changed their minds. But at that very moment she could hear the door chirp. Someone was coming! 

Kira looked around - desperate to find a place to hide. Once again she cursed at her stupid idea to take off her communicator. She couldn't get out and she most certainly couldn't call for help! 

*** Part 2 - A LONELY CARDASSIAN ***

Dukat rubbed his eyes. He felt lonely. A strange feeling, and something he could easily have done something about if he really felt the need to do so. But the only thing he really wanted was out of reach. He didn't even allow himself to think about it. 

Instead he got inside his quarters and even neglected to turn the lights on. The pale glow from the stars gave him enough light to reach what he wanted - a bottle of Kanaar and a glass. Carrying these items he strode over to the eye-shaped windows of Terok Nor. "Oh, no", he silently corrected himself - "Deep Space Nine of course" 

He tore off the stiff chest-plate of his uniform and left it lying on the floor where he dropped it. He sniffed the air. Something smelled different about his quarters... what could it be? He turned around to watch the looming shadows of the room he was in. But nothing gave way that he wasn't alone. He could have sworn he felt the spring-like smell of - Major Kira? Dukat shook his head. He couldn't believe he had just let himself think that. 

The Major had been on his mind all day. But her cold gaze had struck his emotions like a sword. He knew his hopes were in vain. So he pushed the idea away and sat down on the edge of the window, staring out into space. 

His thoughts and memories overcame him. A long time ago he had nourished hopes of winning her. When he had found his daughter...

"Ah - Ziyal!"

A sharp edge of pain struck his chest, and Dukat hid his face behind his hands. There were no more tears. He had cried them all, but it still hurt so much to think about Ziyal. He shoved the memories of his daughter far back in his mind and concentrated on the other woman instead - Kira. However painful she was to think about - it was nothing compared to thinking about Ziyal, so he allowed himself to indulge in fantasies about the Bajoran female. Back then he

thought that, given time, Major Kira would be able to see other sides to him than she did at first. But now, time had passed and so many things had come between them that the dream was nothing but ashes in his mind. Dukat closed his eyes and leaned his ridged forehead to the window and felt the coolness of the glass ease his mind just a little. 

He could see the shape of the woman he was thinking about as clearly as if she had been standing before him. The smell of her spring-perfume was as real to his mind as if she had actually been there. The thought of her made his blood run faster. He could feel the arousal creep up on him like a ghost. Major Kira had always been able to do that to him. Many times he had felt like grabbing a hold of her hair and pull her with him, to his bed. But some part of him had, even when given the chance, resisted that scenario. He preferred his women ready and willing. Willing to take him into their beds, or come to his. Although it was depressing to think about, he knew that would never happen with Major Kira. So he allowed his fantasies to fill the void in his chest. 

The arousal he felt wasn't an unpleasant feeling and he indulged in the images his mind created for him. He lifted his leg from the floor and leaned backwards and let the fantasies flood his mind. Kira screaming at him that he couldn't shoot his own daughter. Her laughter that night they spent in the cave, when he sat on that viscous looking plant spine. He could still feel the sharp pain in his buttocks and hear the bell-like laugher pour out of her mouth like a chime. That was when he had first realized just how strong his attraction to that woman was. 

*** Part 3 - TRAPPED IN THE DARK ***

Kira just could *not* believe it. Out of all the damn quarters of the entire station, she had to walk into the quarters where Dukat - of all people - was staying!

She clenched her jaw and was still trying not to breathe too loud, or he would hear her. She was sitting down, leaning against the wall. She had hid enough times before to know how important it was to find a comfortable spot or she would be a dead-giveaway in a matter of minutes. She had found a spot, which didn't hide her well enough, but there was nothing she could do about it now. If she moved around now, he would most certainly detect her. Was that good or bad, she wondered. She could explain what happened and get out of there. But she did *not* look forward to Dukat's satisfied smile if he found her in his quarters. Of course - she could just sit there and hope that Dukat wouldn't detect her. Only the Prophets knew how long she would be trapped in his quarters. At least if he went to sleep she could sneak out. 

But he was just sitting there, by the window. She had a perfect view of him where he was resting. His head was leaning against the window and if she didn't know better she would say he seemed - lonely? But as she followed his movements and watched him stretch his legs, lean his head back and close his eyes, his expression changed. His eyes got that viscous glimmer she had gotten so used to seeing - almost a predatory look. She wondered what he was thinking about. 

Kira had never before had the opportunity to watch him so closely. Dukat had such a piercing gaze that she seldom allowed herself to rest her eyes on him for very long. At times, when she had in fact tried to observe him more closely, he had always caught her and driven her mad with that slow smile of his. It told her that he enjoyed catching her looking at him. She knew exactly what kind of fantasies could run around in that sick mind of his! If he ever got the chance, he would probably grab a hold of her hair and drag her into a cave with him! She had seen many times how he looked at her and it made her shiver. 

The most irritating part of the situation she was in right now was that she enjoyed being able to watch him this closely without his knowing about it. His grayish skin looked even paler in the starlight and the shadows they created made his face seem more uneven than usual. Kira wondered what his skin would feel like if she were to touch him... Would it feel cold to the touch or warm? Would the ridges in his face feel harsh or soft beneath her hands? Kira allowed herself to wonder for just a second before she stopped her own thoughts. 

Dukat pulled his right leg up and leaned it toward the window. His left hand rested on his thigh and he seemed more relaxed. There was a tense feeling in the entire room. Kira wondered why, but all of the sudden she could see Dukat slowly moving his hand from his thigh up between his own legs and the truth dawned on her. Dukat thought he was alone and his mind was taking some perverted course and now he was going to... 

Kira almost flew up screaming. But what could she do? Dukat would kill her if he realized she was watching him at such an incredibly private moment. A thrill found its way down her spine. She almost whimpered. Waves of heat flushed her body at the thought of what she was about to see. But she couldn't stay there. She couldn't watch him, she had to stop him somehow... 

Or did he know she was there? Did he know that she was sitting there in the shadows, watching him? Did his twisted mind enjoy the fact that she was caught in this impossible situation. Did he enjoy the fact that she would watch him caress himself? She didn't know...

Kira turned her head away from the image of Dukat sitting there, all by himself. Obviously in the mood for something she desperately didn't want to witness. She couldn't believe how she ever could have ended up in a situation like this. 

//Damn you, Dax!! //

But still, she couldn't keep her eyes away. They were drawn back to the slender shape sitting at the window. Pulled with a strength that she couldn't resist. 

She had never thought about Dukat as a potential lover before. At least she never admitted to herself that the thought might have crossed her mind. But the mere thought of it sent a shiver down her spine. She never believed she would experience such feelings when looking at the Cardassian Gul. 

For a brief moment she allowed herself to watch him without holding back the thoughts flooding her mind. She actually thought he was good-looking - something she had never admitted to herself before. But what more was the fact that she found him incredibly attractive - he was in fact sexy - with that slender body of his, his tight, shapely buttocks. She was a woman who had always been turned on by a man's legs, and Dukat's legs were beautifully shaped. Slender, but perfectly proportioned. Right now one was leaning against the window. He was dressed in a pair of brown, tight pants, which didn't leave much to the imagination. Kira had forgotten to be afraid that he would see her. All she could think of was how astonishingly handsome he was. She let her eyes feast on his body as she sat there in the darkness. 

But the fact was he wasn't just good-looking, he had a gaze that was positively thrilling, Not to mention his voice which made her shiver...

Dukat's voice had always made her feel strange. He used it as a tool, and that was probably why she always bantered him about it. Because of the way it made her feel. Kira had heard of bedroom eyes. But a bedroom voice? If there ever was such a thing, Dukat's voice was it... rich, vibrant and it made her quiver. She caught herself wanting to hear him say something… 

Kira nearly gasped when she realized what she was thinking. She wanted to scream, run up from her place of hiding and get out of there and run as fast as she ever had. Not only from Dukat, but from the feelings he provoked in her. Feelings she hadn't know she felt… not about *him*! 

She kept watching - as if hypnotized - as his hands were slowly moving over his thighs with long, firm strokes, slowly reaching up to his lower abdomen. His mouth was slightly open, and his breath came in rough, short gasps. She nearly moaned when she imagined those hands on the insides of her thighs instead.

She could see how he was arousing himself and she almost moaned but bit her lip in time not to let out a sound. Reluctantly she let her hands slide downwards. Her gaze was locked on to him. Watching his every move she slowly pulled the skirt up, over her knees, up to the waist. 

Watching him made a soft ache spread between her thighs, the dampness there made her almost feel embarrassed. She imagined his slender fingers making their way into her as she started to caress herself. She couldn't help what she was doing. She couldn't *believe* what she was doing. But watching him was the most sensual experience she had ever had in her entire life. 

The fear suddenly struck her. 

What if he could smell her? She would die. Kira looked away and quickly pulled her hands away from the aching dampness. Her body was trembling and her cheeks were flushed with both fear, embarrassment and - she admitted to herself - excitement 

She couldn't stay and she couldn't leave. What was she going to do?

*** Part 4 - A PRIVATE MOMENT ***

Dukat enjoyed the vivid imaginations his mind was creating. Instead of memories of Kira his mind was now entertaining him with full-fledged fantasies about the stubborn Bajoran female. The most attractive woman he knew. He had always had such a weakness for Bajoran women. That would surely be his downfall someday... 

He slowly moved his hands to the aching center of his body. He rubbed his thighs and felt the ache get stronger. He imagined that the hands caressing his inner thighs were those of Nerys. His stiffness was pressing against the cloth of his pants, throbbing harder each second. The images of Kira, the strangely overwhelming smell of her, made him incredibly aroused. 

It had been years since he had indulged himself in such activities. Usually he would just pick up a woman who found him reasonably attractive and then he'd take her back with him to his quarters. But now...? He slowly opened his eyes and wondered to himself if he should put this off long enough to go to Quark's and pick up a Dabo girl or something. Any girl who could release him without him having to degrade himself by doing it by his own hand... 

But he changed his mind in an instant. Just any woman couldn't satisfy him. Not tonight. She would not be the Major. No woman could be like Nerys. No other woman had her ivory skin, which seemed so smooth and soft. Her wonderful hips, which curved so beautifully beneath her thin waist. And she was all he wanted right now. He wanted her so badly, that he could smell her. And that was enough for the moment. He would let himself go like he did when he was just a teenager. He smiled to himself as he remembered the feverish moments of adolescence, so long ago. 

It was just as long ago since he had felt like doing something like this, but why not? Why not ease himself? Women were so much trouble sometimes.

With no more hesitation he let himself go. He decided to go through with what he had started. He let his hands slide down his body and grab himself outside of the pants. He could feel himself stiffen against his hands and he arched his neck backwards and smiled at the sensation. He started caressing himself the way he really liked it. 

He pulled down the zipper of his pants as a sweet, strong surge of passion flew through him like a lightning bolt and he pulled himself out of the pants he was wearing. 

He was swollen and hard and he could feel the neck-ridges fill with blood as his arousal grew stronger. His own scent becoming overwhelming in the air. He didn't bother to suppress the pheromones he released into the air. There was no one there to be embarrassed or affected by it. 

He leaned back against the window and enjoyed the wonderful feeling of his excitement. He let his other hand slowly slide to grab his testicles and he gasped for breath as he could feel the incredible arousal grow even stronger. Any embarrassment he might have felt about masturbating alone in his quarters was easily dismissed at this point. Right now he was enjoying it more than a sexual act with a woman. 

As he caressed himself he was bemused at the reaction. He couldn't believe this. It had been years since he was so worked up, even in the company of a beautiful, lovely woman, and yet all he had done now was think about the Major for a short moment - and then there was this *scent*, growing stronger by the second. It was as if it had changed. His imagination was truly vivid this evening he thought to himself. Earlier it had simply been the light smell of her perfume. Now, he felt as if the air was filled with the Major's own pheromones. As if she was there with him, just as overcome by desire as he was. The thought of her being there, watching him, made him stiffen even more and he moaned. 

// Oh this is good, so good! // he thought to himself. 

He drew a deep breath and tasted the smell. It was indeed changing. And it was intoxicating to him. It almost made him feel dizzy with desire. His head pressed against the window as he felt passion grow stronger. The smell was driving him crazy. It wasn't as light and sweet as before - no, it was heavier, tougher and more intense. His loins ached for her. His inner mind made up images of the Major, naked, pressing against him, filled with ecstasy, wanting *him*. 

He could imagine her white skin and what it would look like in the pale starlight. It would be softer than Cardassian cotton, paler than the sands of the beaches at the K'Tar Province. Her nipples would be red, like the Terran cherries he had tasted so long ago. What would she taste like? Like Risean strawberries, sweeter than Bajoran spring wine?

Again he drew a deep breath. He could feel the blood run hotter in his veins. His neck-ridges were swollen, almost to the point where it hurt, and he could feel his jaws clench at the intense pleasure he was feeling. Now he wished he had gone for that Dabo girl. To be able to sink into her wet warmth right now, pretending she was the Major, would have been incredible. He could have found some Bajoran woman who resembled Nerys. He could have

found some girl with short, auburn hair and a feisty look in her eyes. Some woman with pale, ivory skin and hips like the Bajoran female he was so attracted to. 

"No", Dukat whispered. "There is no woman like the Major. No one..." and he longed for her touch, her caress. To feel her lips kiss the insides of his thighs...

*** Part 5 - WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME ***

Kira struggled with herself. She had pulled down the skirt again. Embarrassed at what she had almost done. But she couldn't move away from where she was sitting. He wasn't that wrapped up in what he was doing. She couldn't stay and watch him. Could she? The tingling sensation grew stronger when she realized the truth - she didn't have much choice. 

Could she stay there, while he did whatever he had to do and then sneak out while he was asleep? That would seem to be her only option. What exquisite torture - and what irony... 

If she stayed she would have to have some self-control. She couldn't succumb to the desire she was feeling, and she certainly wasn't going to watch Dukat at a moment like this. She couldn't! It was too private - too electrifying, she had to admit to herself. She knew, that already, she would never look at him the same way she used to before... 

At this moment of surprise she had let her guard down and admitted to some of her true feelings for the Cardassian. That despite who he was, she had always been *extremely* attracted to him. Which made her hate him even more. That fact gave him a stronghold over her that she didn't like. 

Kira shook her head silently but her eyes were pulled back, as if by a tangible force, to the wiry man at the window. Her eyes had gotten used to the darkness of his quarters and she could almost see him as clearly in the pale starlight as if it had been daylight. She drank the vision as if she was dying from thirst.

He was becoming more wrapped up in his actions and she could see him pull himself out of the pants and watched his hard, pulsating member as he stroke himself up and down along the shaft. She nervously licked her lips. The ache between her legs was becoming unbearable. The scent from him was overwhelming and made her want to get up from where she was sitting. She wanted to ease the pulsating desire. She wanted to join him where he was sitting, that was what she really wanted. Walk over to him. Grab him and place a juicy kiss on his thin lips... 

She wanted *Dukat*!

His movements were slow and determined and his eyes closed. His mouth was slightly open and his features tense with the pleasure he was feeling. Kira could smell the pheromones in the air. She wondered where they came from. From his genitals or from the hard neck-ridges by his throat? They were pulsating so she could almost see it from where she was sitting. Wherever they came from - they made the lubricants flow to the center of her body, making her groin feel warm and horribly empty. Oh, how she wanted to do what he did, caress herself, but she knew if she did, he would hear her immediately. She was not known to be silent when she came…

Kira bit her lip as she watched his movements become faster, more determined, and slow down again as he wasn't ready to let go of the desire just yet. Kira pushed her legs together and almost moaned again. She wanted to help him. She wanted to be there to push him closer to the edge. She wanted to be there to enjoy him fully. But he held back at this moment. As if he enjoyed tormenting himself, denying himself of the release that she could see he desperately craved. She envied him that instant. His ignorance of her presence. She *wished* she could have joined him. Kira's breathing was becoming faster, more shallow and she could smell her own excitement in the air. It made her stomach again tingle with a little bit of fear. But it was impossible to push back the arousal she felt as she was watching him. And he might smell her excitement. 

Cardassians had a good sense of smell. 

What if he *could* indeed feel her scent in his quarters? Kira asked herself and her heart almost skipped a beat at the thought. What would happen then? 

The images flooded her mind without warning. Kira nearly gasped when she imagined Dukat lifting his head, looking at her.

His hypnotizing gaze would lock on to her eyes. Mesmerizing her. Making her quiver by merely looking at her. His excited features would tense as he realized what she had witnessed. Maybe at first he would be embarrassed or even angry. But then - when he saw her obvious excitement. Her strong desire for him, he would turn to her and take her, and she wouldn't protest. She realized, she would welcome him with great satisfaction... 

Kira's eyes were locked on the man by the window. She watched him work his way to the release and she whimpered silently when she saw him come. What a sight. Watching him aroused her to no end. She was wet and her sex was pulsating in synchrony with his as he finally reached his climax. 

//Oh,// Kira thought. // I should have been there… //

Suddenly she heard him whisper.

"No",

Dukat's words filled her mind and made her tremble as if he had touched her. She shivered at the sheer joy of his rich voice, and she had to close her eyes. But then she realized what he was saying..

"There is no woman like the Major. No one..."

His words hit her like a fist in the base of her stomach. She couldn't believe she heard what she heard. Did he know she was there?

She couldn't stay!

*** Part 6 - A SURPRISE AT HAND ***

Dukat's limbs shivered from the ecstasy as he felt an incredible release build up in his lower abdomen. And then he came - fiercely. He moaned loudly, grasped at the cool edge of the window, as he felt the waves of pleasure rip through him like a tidal wave again and again. His mind was filled with images of Nerys, writhing with passion underneath him. Her face filled with desire - with love - for *him*! The images, the smell was so vivid that his orgasm was more intense than it had been for a very long time. 

Her scent stung his nostrils and it was sweet and moist. Pushing its way into his delicate sense of smell, filling his entire mind with erotic images. He sighed when the waves of excitement slowly left him and he opened his eyes. It took a few moments for him to collect himself and to focus his gaze at something. 

But when he did, he knew without a single doubt in his mind that he was not alone. The scent was too pressing to be something concocted by his imagination. It pierced through his own, rather strong smell. And he knew, however incredible it might seem, that Kira was in his quarters and she had witnessed his actions. 

Instead of becoming angry or even embarrassed he felt a jolt of excitement run through his veins and he hardened again. But he refused to lead on that he knew she was there. 

// What is she doing in my quarters? // he wondered. // How could she have gone undetected? - She hadn't,// he reminded himself. 

He *had* detected her. He had smelled her the very moment he entered the room. But his mind was too preoccupied with the Major for him to realize the scent of her was real. The perfume of her curvy shape had intoxicated his mind and made him...

Dukat smiled widely when he again realized she had watched his 'performance'. He wondered how it had made her feel, watching him like that? 

// Did you get aroused, Major?// he wondered to himself. // Did it make you feel 

embarrassed? Or even sick? // 

//No, // he thought. 

The scent tickling his nose was not of a woman who was sick and it was most certainly not the smell of fear. In fact, the smell made him feel like he wanted to start all over again. He grinned. He wondered how the good Major would feel about *that*. He was tempted to find out. Maybe she wouldn't be able to restrain herself? Maybe she would even come to him? 

Willingly… 

Dukat got up from the windowsill and gazed out through the room and he saw her almost immediately. He wouldn't have unless he had known she was there, but he could see her, crouched down behind the sofa. He allowed himself to let his eyes stick to her shape for only a fraction of a second. Her eyes were filled with excitement and passion. A slight glimmer of fear showed up in her eyes as he gazed at her. But he didn't show her that he had seen her. He just turned his head away. 

He played with the idea to go to her. To adhere to his desire and drag her up into his arms. But he was afraid that it would make her scream or hit him. As he gazed at her for only a short moment he realized she probably needed some time to adjust to the new feelings. Instead of walking over to her, as he would have liked to, he went into the bathroom, closed the door shut behind him and started the shower.

// That should give her the courage to sneak out of here, // he thought. // But if she thinks this is the end of it… // Dukat grinned. //…she is sadly mistaken!//

*** Part 7 - HUNTER - PREY ***

Dukat enjoyed being on the station the following days. He made it a point to run into Major Kira as often as possible. Her embarrassment was obvious to him and he loved seeing the blushing tone of her skin whenever he was around. 

He was supposed to get back to Cardassia Prime today, but this sudden development in his relationship to Major Kira made him hold off for a few days. Seeing that the Dominion had withdrawn to the Gamma Quadrant after the Romulans had helped the Federation to drive them away, and Cardassia was in negotiations to join the Federation, he saw no reason to leave Deep Space Nine. He was long overdue for a 'vacation' anyway… 

He grinned. He couldn't find a better way to spend it than to irritate Major Kira. 

* * *

"Hello, Major!" he said and put on his friendliest smile as he entered her office. 

"Hello… Dukat!" she answered. She didn't look up from the padd she was working on. That in itself told him how uncomfortable his presence made her. 

"What's the matter Major? Busy?" he asked and leaned over her desk, smiling. 

Finally she looked up to meet his gaze. He held it steadily and he could see her blushing. As if every moment in his quarters a couple of days ago flooded her mind with unwelcome images. He could see her chest heaving and he couldn't help but smiling even wider. He would love to know what was going on in her mind right now, but he knew she would never tell *him*. If anyone.. 

"Always too busy for *you*!" she spat and the fire he was used to seeing was back in her eyes. 

"Why Major… you hurt my feelings. I thought we were - friends?" Dukat's voice was mocking, and the hesitation before the word "friends" didn't escape her and her eyes shrank to two small slits. 

"We've never been *friends* Dukat - and you know it!"

He just smiled at her. 

"So what can I do for you?" she asked. He almost chuckled when he could see how she mentally kicked herself for phrasing the question the way she did. But he held back on the laughter. 

However - Dukat couldn't help himself - he had to take advantage of the situation. 

"Oh, I could think of many things you could do for me - Nerys… " he grinned and leaned forward over her desk. His eyes staying only an inch or so from her face. 

"Dream on!" she barked and turned her gaze to the padd again, as if she couldn't bear to meet his eyes anymore. 

Dukat smiled again. 

"Oh, I've had my share of dreams Major…" He pulled back from the desk and walked around it to get closer to her. Then he lazily leaned against her desk as he was no further from her than a couple of inches. His eyes were glittering with humor. "It is far from as nice as the *real* thing… " 

"Well, Dukat…" she said and rose from her seat. She leaned forward to look straight into his eyes. Her voice steady - calm, and her eyes cold as ice. "The *real thing* is never going to be an option for *you*!"

"Really?" he said. Then he turned around and left her with a puzzled look on her face. 

// There - that should give her something to think about! // Dukat grinned to himself as he strode out of her office. He could hear a slamming noise against the door, but he didn't allow himself to even flinch. He just laughed.

// There goes the padd… // 

The good Major didn't know it yet. But she had suddenly become his first priority. He never thought Kira Nerys would become 'available' - at least not to him and especially not like this. But the events that took place in his quarters a couple of nights ago made him realize, that maybe - just maybe the good Major wasn't so unattainable to him as he thought she was. 

He was about to find out. But knowing that the chase was indeed almost as sweet as the final achievement - he wasn't in a hurry. He could afford to wait - to be patient. 

*** Part 8 - CALLING IN A FEW FAVORS ***

Kira's breathing was heavy and she dug her face into her hands as she watched the cracked padd lying on the floor in front of the doors to her office. She had been working on the criminal reports all morning, and now she would have to download the data from the main computer and start all over again. 

"Damn you, Dukat!" she muttered . 

Ever since that cursed day when she had to hide from the Klingons, she had had the Cardassian Gul invade her fantasies every waking hour - and sleeping too, she admitted and rubbed her brow. A throbbing headache made itself evident as she sighed and sat down. She ran into him *everywhere* and this last visit… She could have sworn he had only made it to upset her. What had been his official reason for visiting, she asked herself. - None. He had just swaggered into her office, made some teasing remarks and when he was sure that she was sufficiently upset - he had left. 

She didn't know what had brought on his changed behavior towards her. She was sure, thank the Prophets, that he hadn't seen her that night. He couldn't have, she tried to convince herself. She frowned. No, he *hadn't* seen her. If he had, he would never have let her get out of there without saying anything. Without *doing* anything, she corrected herself. 

But what was *she* going to do about *him*? He had been on her mind constantly since that day. She hated it. She hated him with a frenzy that almost scared her. But at the same time, she was so tremendously attracted to him and she didn't know what to do to not show it to him. Kira sighed. And suddenly she rose from her chair and left the office. 

* * * 

Dukat stood behind one of the bulkheads where he had stopped. Watching her intently without her knowing it. His almost predatorial gaze was locked onto her slender shape as it made its way toward Quark's. He let his eyes feast on her body. After all, she had done the same to him recently, hadn't she?

* * * 

"Quark!" Kira shouted as she entered the bar. 

It was empty, except from Morn who, as usual, sat silently by the counter, zipping from a glass of Betazoidian Champagne. Its pink color and the sparkling bubbles looked completely misplaced in the heavy glass in his clumsy hands. Kira took in the awkward sight as she turned around to look for Quark. 

"You little *troll*. Where are you?!" Kira growled angrily. Quark might as well take the benefit of her foul mood this horrible day. He had probably done something to deserve it after all, Kira defended herself as a slight pang of guilt struck her. 

Quarks cautious gaze met her fiery eyes as he slowly rose from behind the counter. He lifted his hand to slowly rub his lobe, as he often did when he felt somewhat cornered. He had just returned from a business trip to Bajor and this was the first time Major Kira had the chance to talk to him. 

Quark had hoped she would have forgotten the unfortunate situation with the Klingons the other day. But evidently, it was still vivid in the Major's mind. 

"What did you do to the Dabo table?!" she shouted and leaned over the counter. From the corner of her eye, she could see Morn slowly slide off his chair and carefully trying to make his way out of the bar without being detected. 

"Now look what you've done, Major. You drove my best customer away!" Quark complained. 

Kira leaned closer to the Ferengi and quickly, like a Cardassian sand viper, she reached out with her arm and grabbed a firm hold of Quark's ear. 

"Don't you try to lie to me your little conniver!" she hissed, as her hand grew steadily firmer around Quark's lobes. 

"Ouch, Major, you're hurting me! All right, all right. I might have made the Dabo table spin in your favor the other day. But I thought you would be pleased…. "

"I don't like cheating and I was almost *killed*!" 

Quark giggled apologetically and looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. 

"But you didn't come to any harm, now did you Major?" he said. "You look perfectly fine to me!" 

"You have *no* idea!" Kira spat and let go of Quark's ear. The short Ferengi quickly straightened and backed away as far from the Major's firm fingers as possible while slowly massaging his lobes with a slight grimace on his face. 

"You know, Major. That was uncalled for. Ferengi lobes are very sensitive!" he complained. 

Kira leaned closer to him and stretched her arms out. 

Quark backed away another inch and realized he had gotten as far from the Major as he possibly could so he lifted his hands in a peace offering gesture.

"Okay, okay - so I won't do it again!"  
Kira looked at him, with a very distrustful gaze. 

"I promise!" he groaned and looked at her with wide, innocent eyes. 

"You owe me!" 

"I'll make it up to you! I promise. Anything you want!" Quark moaned. 

"Anything?" Kira said and leaned closer again. 

"Anything!" Quark nodded. 

"Okay!" Kira said. "Then I have a favor to ask of you, but you better not tell *anyone* or you are a very *dead* Ferengi!" 

And Kira leaned forward as she urged the Ferengi to come closer to her. 

"Here's what I want you to do!"

Quark cautiously leaned closer, carefully protecting his ear with his hands, but with an unmistakably curious look on his troll-like features. 

"Oh, you want me to…?" Quark said as his eyes widened in a tremendous surprise. 

"Shhhh!" Kira said. "Not a word! To *anyone*! Or you are dead! You hear me?!"

"Yes Major. My lips are sealed!"

"They'd better be!" Kira said as she left the bar. Wondering if she, after all hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life. 

*** Part 9 - THE ENIGMA ***

Dukat could never resist a riddle. And the enigma that was Major Kira Nerys was probably the most irresistible one he had ever come in contact with and he wasn't about to let it go. He followed the feisty Bajoran military advisor to Quark's. His slender body following her along the Promenade, like a lion on the prowl. But he didn't go after her all the way. She'd have blown up if she were to see him now. He'd be clever to stay out of her way for just while, he thought to himself as he saw the angry female grab a positively grueling hold of Quark's sensitive ear. Whatever the Major said, at least she felt *something* for him or else she wouldn't be so offended by his teasing words, causing her temper to flare like this and let the Ferengi suffer from it. . 

He grinned widely - he owed that bartender a favor. Since that night, he had found out about Kira's visit to Quark's and what caused her flight into his room. He had found out that Quark had been spinning the Dabo tables in Kira's favor, making the Klingons really upset, forcing the Major to seek refuge in his quarters. Nobody else knew where she had fled to of course, but he did and he owed that Ferengi some gratitude.

He watched from afar as Kira talked to Quark for a while. Morn came out of the bar with a most disturbed look on his face. Well, Morn *would* be disturbed if someone forced him to leave his favorite spot on the station, Dukat thought. 

But when Kira was finally done with Quark she left the bar without seeing him. Her face filled with some kind of anticipation and - fear? Now that was a positively intriguing mix of emotions on a woman's face… Dukat grinned as he left. He wasn't about to bother the Major anymore today, but this turn of events had him somewhat puzzled. Curious in fact. Perhaps he'd have to put some pressure on the good bartender to find out more of what the conversation between him and the Major had entailed? But not until he had observed what would happen within the next few days… 

* * * 

A week had passed by and Dukat was beginning to become frustrated. It seemed the Major had gone back to her usual self around him, or she was a very good actress. Dukat preferred to believe the latter. To think that he had her within his grasp only a week or so ago and to have let her go. He cursed his self-esteem, his self-assurance. 

He should have taken her then and there… but - no - he admitted to himself. This last week had had its moments. Like when he literally ran into the Major by Upper Pylon 2 yesterday. He had had to grab a hold of her so that he wouldn't lose his balance. She had been so close, he could see her chest pressing against his armor, and he had wished for a moment that he hadn't been wearing his military uniform. She had looked at him with such passion in her eyes. But only for a brief moment. Then she had regained her composure. Looked at him with those chilling light-brown eyes and challenged him to step aside. 

"I have work to do, Dukat. So - I suggest you get out of my way!"

Smiling, he had left his hands on her shoulders just a second longer than necessary, then he had let go of her and stepped aside with a gracious gesture, inviting her to pass him in the corridor. That was when he had seen that faint smile - that anticipation, and fear in her eyes again. And he wondered what caused her to fear him? She had never done that before. So why start now? 

Remembering that look on Kira's face Dukat decided it was about time to do something about this. The chase hadn't lost its appeal, but it was time to take the next step. So Dukat steered his steps toward Ops, so that he would be there when the good Major went off duty. 

He leaned against the wall at Ops, being greeted by Captain Sisko's disapproving eyes as he left. 

"What are you doing here, Dukat?" 

Major Kira's voice reached his ears like a sharp needle. He wished she could talk to him in that soft, melodic voice she had always used when she spoke to Ziyal, but it seemed that voice had died with his daughter. 

"Why, waiting for you of course, Major… " he teased. 

"Then you'll have to wait. I am going home - alone!" she spat. 

"So, I take it you are not going to invite me in for a glass of wine and - dinner, then?" he chuckled. Her eyes pierced into his gaze when she uttered a quick and unemotional. 

"No."

"Seriously Major. I would like to take you out to dinner. "

"Why, in the Prophets names, would you *ever* want to do that?" she asked. 

"I would like to talk to you about… " he explained. 

"We don't have anything to talk about!"

"…Ziyal" 

As Dukat spoke the words he knew they were true. Not just an excuse he made up to spend time with the Major. Even if that had been his primary intention at first. 

* * *

// That vulnerable look in his eyes is going to be my bane! // Kira thought to herself. 

She hadn't gotten over Ziyal's death herself. So she could very well understand Dukat's difficulties in doing so. But why did he have to turn to her? Why couldn't he talk to somebody else?

// Because there *is* no one else, you know that, Nerys! // 

Suddenly she just gave in. 

"As long as you are not trying to make a pass at me, then okay, Dukat - I'll have dinner with you!" 

"Why Major" he chuckled. "Why deprive me of my only joy? What are you afraid of? That you might give in?" His voice was yet again its normal mocking self. The grief had yet again been pushed back, back to the deepest corners of his eyes. There, but not quite visible to just anyone. 

"Careful Dukat!" she said with a genuine threat in her voice. "We can talk about Ziyal, but that's it!"  
"Okay, okay!" Dukat held his arms up in a very disarming gesture. He chuckled. "I promise I won't do anything that you don't want me to do!"

// Holy prophets. I am glad he doesn't know all the things I would want him to do.// 

"Okay! - I guess that's as close to a promise you won't try to seduce me that I'll ever get, huh?" she said with a tired smile.

"You know me all to well, Major! So, let me pick you up in about an hour then?"

She nodded in agreement and Dukat remained standing outside of Ops as he saw her make her way back to her quarters. He wondered what she would be wearing when he came to pick her up? Something seductive? No, he doubted it. Something prude? No, that wasn't really the major's style either. She would probably be something casual and non-revealing. 

//Oh, well! At least she agreed to have dinner with me! // Dukat sighed. 

Then he turned around and started whistling as he left Ops, to go and put something less formal on himself. Maybe it was time the good Major saw him wearing something besides that armor?

*** Part 10 - WITHIN THE SERPENT'S GRASP ***

Kira couldn't *believe* she had accepted the invitation to dinner that Dukat had offered. But since she had, she didn't have much choice but to follow through on it. She stood in front of the replicator, wondering what she was going to wear this evening. She didn't know what to put on. She didn't want to dress up at all. But she couldn't very well go in her uniform. Dukat would never accept it. Should she wear something really seductive? Just for the fun of it? No, she thought. 

// That might give Dukat the wrong idea… //

But as if by a will of its own she started voicing her instructions to the replicator. A wine-red dress fitting like a second skin. Covered with Denabian crystals. No sleeves and no strings to hold it up, and a pair of shoes to fit with it as well. As the dress appeared in the replicator she pulled it towards her. The material was soft, and thin. It would look like a second skin as she wore it. Her heart pounded and she didn't know why she decided to wear the dress after all. What did she want? Drive Dukat out of his mind? 

// Yes // she admitted to herself.  
// This is revenge. A revenge for something Dukat isn't even aware he has done! // Kira thought.  
// He made me want him! //

As her mind started wandering, remembering that evening, her heart began pounding and once again she had to ask herself what she was doing. She dropped the gown on the sofa and turned around to get into the sonic shower. She refused to analyze what she was doing. She just did it. 

* * * 

Dukat's heart nearly stopped when Kira showed up at the door to her quarters. He almost grabbed her. He almost pushed her back into her quarters, to be able to do what he had wanted to do for the last couple of weeks. But his curiosity stopped him. 

// What is she up to? // he wondered and let his eyes swallow her whole. From the high-heeled shoes to the thin, lacy gown which shone in almost the same color as her hair. The Denabian crystals made her look like she was draped in pure light. He was breathless - almost speechless. 

"Why, Major!" he said. His voice was husky and full of admiration. 

// How am I going to be able to hide how much I want this woman? // 

"Don't get your hopes up. I have another date later tonight!" she spat with the tone of voice she had selected exclusively for him. Short, high-pitched and mocking. Dukat closed his eyes for a brief moment, as to not let her see how much her words hurt him. 

// Is she going to go out with another man to ease the desire *I* have awakened in her? // 

"Oh, well. I guess I will have to settle for enjoying the efforts you made for another man then." Dukat said. His voice suddenly short and brusque. 

"Don't enjoy it too much. You wanted to talk about Ziyal?" she said curtly. 

"Let's go get something to eat first, shall we?" Dukat said, his voice gave away his discomfort at her words. He lifted his arm to offer it to her. Kira reluctantly took it. 

* * * 

// His arm against mine. His hip brushing against my hip. The warmth of his arm underneath my fingers. The tingling feeling traveling from my arm to my most secret places…// 

Kira closed her eyes. Prophets, she hoped Dukat would never - ever - find out that her attitude towards him had changed. 

// May he never find out how much I desire him! // Kira thought. 

// How can this be? I *hate* this man! I have *always* hated this man. And yet… - Am I *that* shallow? Has me seeing him like that changed everything? Was that all it took for me to stop hating him and begin wanting him? //

Kira took a deep breath and tried to chase away the unwelcome feelings and the uncomfortable thoughts. But her mind wouldn't let her. 

// No - that's not true. I have *always* desired Dukat. That is why I hate him so much. He is the only Cardassian I have ever wanted. That's why I hate him, because I don't want to see anything desirable about *any* of them! It is so much easier to just hate them - all of them!//

Kira swallowed as the truth dawned on her. The experience in Dukat's quarters had merely been the catalyst, the thing needed for her to realize the truth about herself. And now she was about to have *dinner* with him. That was as if the mouse would be inviting the cat over for dinner! 

"Are you all right, Major?" 

Dukat's baritone voice cut its way through her thoughts, cradling around her heart like a warm blanket. His voice had always been able to get her off balance. It was as if that voice played on all her emotions at the same time. It had an incredible range and expressed emotion precisely. No one could ever misunderstand what Dukat wanted to express with his voice. If it was sincere? That was another story altogether. 

He could convey hatred, concern, tenderness and mocking - all as eloquently. Kira pulled her arm away from his as they entered Quark's bar. 

"I am fine, Dukat. I didn't know you had a taste for Quark's food."

Dukat leaned his head back and chuckled. 

"There are many things you don't know about me, Nerys. And I have a good hand with the Ferengi. He knows better than to serve bad food to me and my guests!" 

"I am sure he does!" Kira said dryly. 

Dukat's words made her mind fill with memories of the Occupation. How Dukat always managed to squeeze a little bit more out of her world and her people. How he seemed to enjoy taking advantage of Bajoran women, Bajoran resources and how he could care less for what happened to her people, her land... 

"Major, what is causing that gloomy face? I hope it isn't me" Dukat leaned forward over the table and smiled at her. Kira pulled back just enough to cause him to smile even more. 

"Actually it is. I was thinking about the Occupation!"

Dukat sighed deeply, tilted his head and looked straight into her eyes. 

Kira felt as if she was caught in a serpent's stare. His eyes burrowed deep into her mind, into her heart. She had always been able to take that stare before. Why was it different now? 

"You always had a flair for ruining my mood!" he said. "Can't we put the past behind us for one evening and enjoy each other's company without having to dredge up old, painful memories? Is that too much to ask, Major? I was hoping we could talk about some of the nicer times we had together. I was hoping we could talk about Ziyal."

Dukat's voice was tired. And his eyes were almost black from the pain he felt. Kira knew exactly what was going on in his mind. She had no one to talk to - about Ziyal. And neither did he. Kira was sure he hadn't spoken much about his deceased daughter with anyone since that horrible day almost two years ago. So many things had happened since then. So many horrible things. And some good things as well. 

Dukat *had* changed. She knew that. He was no longer the same man who had been the Prefect of Bajor. He was no longer the same man who had been so devastated with sorrow, when Ziyal died, that his mind had almost been swallowed up by utter madness. He wasn't responsible for Jadzia's' death. And right now - he needed someone to talk to. She was the only one he *could* talk to. 

Kira almost didn't say it. But she forced the words out of her mouth. 

"Forgive me, Dukat. I won't do that again." She refused to look him in the eyes. Not until he took one of her hands into his own. His skin was remarkably soft - as if he never had to work hard in his life.

// Which is probably true // she thought. 

His hands were a bit cooler than hers, but not as much as she would have expected. 

"Why Major, I think this might be the first time you have *ever* apologized to me - about anything… " he said and smiled at her. He didn't sound smug, or mocking. It was just a smile - a smile that traveled all the way up to his eyes. Those unbelievably blue eyes. She was amazed at how well they expressed his feelings when he allowed them to. And she was amazed at how quickly she had managed to make him smile. Only seconds ago, those eyes had been full of sadness as his mind was on his daughter and her tragic death. 

"Thank you Major!" he said. 

// Prophets, he could sound so sincere! //

She didn't know what to say. She just pulled her hand out of his and folded them in her lap. She didn't want him to see that they were trembling. 

"Major Kira - and Gul Dukat… "

Quark's voice sounded amazed as he trotted up to their table. Kira's head flew up to the Ferengi and warned him to make any stupid comments. 

"… er… what can I do for you tonight?" 

"I would like a really spicy Hasperaat and a bottle of Bajoran Spring Wine. What about you Major?" 

"I'll have the same, thank you!" she said. 

Anything to get rid of Quark as quickly as possible. 

"Anything else?" Quark was his normal hospitable self. 

"No, thank you Quark. You can leave now!" Kira said between her teeth. 

Quark just looked at her and then he scurried off. 

"Now, that wasn't very nice, Major!" Dukat said with a wide grin on his lips. "If I didn't know better I would think you didn't *like* Quark… " 

Kira couldn't help it. She had to smile too. Soon they were both laughing and Kira finally felt herself relax, just a little bit. 

* * *

When Quark came back a while later, he was not only carrying their food but also a data crystal, which he handed over to Kira with a sly smile. 

"Ahem… Major. I have managed to fulfill your latest order. Here it is. I thought you might need it tonight?" 

Kira could have killed him. 

"This *couldn't* wait?" she said. 

"Well, Major. I thought you would be pleased. After all, you have been asking for it rather frequently the last few days. I was hoping to make your evening just a little bit more pleasurable."

"What is that?" Dukat asked, his voice more curious than usual. Kira felt her heart pounding and she *really* wanted to kill Quark right then and there. That *stupid* Ferengi!

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with" Kira answered. She wished she had had a bag to put the crystal in. Or a pocket. For lack of a better place, she tucked it away in her bra. 

Dukat's eyes followed her movements with amusement and sincere interest. 

"I take it that is a holo-suite program?" he said with a smile. 

"Yes" she couldn't very well lie right in his face, now could she? He had already seen the crystal, there was no point in trying to hide the truth. That would only make him more curious. 

"What is it? I thought you despised holo-suite programs as much as I do." Dukat said. 

"Jadzia made me enjoy them a bit." Kira said and hoped that the mere mention of Jadzia Dax'' name would be enough to make Dukat forget about the crystal and talk about something else. A fruitless hope, as it appeared. 

"Is it entertainment? Do you wish to try it out right now?"

"No, Dukat. This is very personal. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Oh, I see… " Dukat's voice sounded like he had a major revelation and Kira looked at him suspiciously. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands. Then he leaned his fingers against his lips in an all too familiar gesture. His mind was at work. 

"Don't get that perverted mind of yours going!" Kira warned. 

"Me?" Dukat's face showed perfect innocence. "I did nothing of the sort. However… now that you mention it. Perhaps it *is* something perverted?" 

Kira was speechless as she felt her cheeks redden at Dukat's intense glare. 

*** Part 11 - RECREATIONAL REPERCUSSIONS ***

Kira relaxed as she sat down on the blanket. It was great to take this, much needed, vacation from Gul Dukat's intense stares and his relentless pursuit of her. She didn't know what to do other than to try and sneak away for a while. Thankfully Captain Sisko had given her some time off so she could indulge in some R&R. 

Kira drank the clear air and the wonderful smell of Bajoran lilacs. The water was glimmering in the sunset and she leaned back on the blanket she had spread on the grass, only a few meters away from the river's shore. It was a very long time ago since she had given herself the time to visit the Holana River on Bajor. And now she felt glad that she did, it made her relax, and only the Prophets knew how much she needed *that*. This was one of the most beautiful spots on the entire planet and it was what she needed. The lush green, the sparkling water, the scent of the flowers - it made all her worries disappear. She savored the moment - and enjoyed getting away from it all, even if it was for just a short while. 

Kira reached out to the basket she had brought. It was full of food and drink. Two loafs of bread, some Hasperaat and the usual Bajoran Spring Wine. A big Larish Pie 

// One of the few redeeming qualities of Cardassia…// Kira smiled to herself. 

There was also a couple of Moba fruits. If she were to eat it all by herself she'd burst… but she hadn't known how long she was planning on staying. And right now, after sitting here for nearly two hours, reading a novel and just lazily sitting there she was ready to eat something. 

The sudden shimmering and unmistakable humming sound of a transporter interrupted her as she was about to grab a plate. Kira turned around and sighed deeply. 

 

// What now? // she thought. // Who had bothered to track her down to disturb her now? The only one who knew where she was, was Sisko and maybe… // 

"Ah! There you are, Major! I could almost believe you are trying to avoid me!" 

Dukat's voice was full of mischief, as he knew that was *exactly* what she was trying to do! 

"I should have known you would track me down!" Kira said with a loud sigh. "The question is why?" 

"Oh, I heard you were taking a few hours off to relax and I thought you wouldn't mind some company?" 

Dukat strolled off in her direction and - uninvited, of course - he sat down beside her on the blanket and started poking around in the basket. Kira turned around and looked straight into the Cardassian's glittering eyes. 

"Actually, Dukat, I *do* mind! The fact is I went here *specifically* to avoid you!" Kira was not about to show how much she enjoyed taunting him. These verbal matches between them had become an almost - enjoyable - habit. 

"Oh, you are very good at hurting my feelings, Major." Dukat put his hand on his chest with a theatrical expression of pain in his face. "I thought you would *enjoy* my company. We could share this pic-nic. There is more than enough food for the both of us."

"All right, Dukat!" Kira couldn't help but smiling. "But only if you promise to leave me alone when I ask you to go."

"Major" Dukat said and leaned forward, far beyond the borders of her personal space. His face was so close he could almost kiss her if he'd have wanted to. "You have my word."

Kira nearly gasped for breath. Anticipation flooded her veins. They were here, alone. Nobody would disturb them and she wondered how far Dukat would actually go? She admitted to herself that she felt an incredible excitement at the prospect of Dukat actually trying to make good on his long time promise to seduce her. She *had* been looking forward to that. And now - perhaps - Dukat would actually do it? It was a perfect opportunity. But she wasn't about to make it easy for him. 

"Okay, Dukat. Let's eat!" Kira emphasized the word *eat* as she stretched her hand out to push him away. He wasn't wearing his armor, but a thin, black tunic which revealed that his body was thinner than she had thought. She had always imagined him to be a bit more muscular, but his body was slender - very well proportioned - but thin. 

The warmth of his chest underneath her fingers made her pull her hand back quickly and stare intensely down on the food in the basket. She had felt the alien feeling of his chest ridges underneath her sensitive palm and she brushed her hand against her leg to get rid of the sensation. It was as if her entire body was made out of nerve-endings. His presence was electrifying. 

Dukat just smiled at her. Then he reached for a plate and with a gesture of chivalry he placed a generous piece of hasperat on the plate and handed it over to her. 

"As you wish, Major!" 

She took the plate. Her hands were shaking and she looked at Dukat with hesitation. He sat there - relaxed as usual - and Kira couldn't help but be amazed at how perfect he looked. In every detail. His movements, his voice - everything. The effect he had on her… Kira's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Dukat, who began to speak. 

"So, Major. Why did you choose this spot for your relaxation? It seems to me, this is a very romantic spot. So why would you want to go here all alone?"

Dukat looked at her with a predatory smile. As if he would like to volunteer to make this spot even more romantic. 

"It's beautiful and it is a place - one of the few places actually - that I remember from my childhood. My parents used to take me here before my mother was... " Kira silenced as she remembered what had happened to her mother and Dukat's part in it. She got up from the grass and couldn't believe what she had been thinking only seconds ago. 

// I was hoping that he would seduce me! After *all* that he has done? // 

"That was a very long time ago, Nerys!" he said mildly. 

Kira jumped as she felt his hands on her shoulders. He had come up behind her so silently that she hadn't noticed. Kira turned around and looked into Dukat's pale-blue eyes. 

"This spot holds my most treasured memories from childhood, that's all. I always go here when I need to relax" she said and ignored his reference to Meru and what had happened between him and her mother so long ago. 

Dukat's grip on her shoulders became tighter and she was mesmerized - caught - in his gaze. She couldn't look away however much she would have wanted to. Then he leaned forward, she could feel his breath on her lips and the warmth from his body... 

Kira felt herself relax and she gave in to the feelings he provoked in her. Her hands slid up his back and into his the jet-black hair. It was softer than she had imagined, like silk running through her fingers. She wanted him to kiss her. To feel if his lips were warm and soft against hers. To feel his body close to her own. She sighed when she felt the rush of excitement that engulfed her as his lips came even closer, his breath touching her overly sensitive mouth. It was amazing and yet… 

"Sisko to Kira!" 

Her communicator chirped. She pulled out of Dukat's warm embrace and tapped it to respond. 

"Major Kira here"

"I am sorry to disturb you, Major. But Gul Dukat is here looking for you. He says it is urgent"

Oh, that was so typical. Kira did what she could to gain control of her breathing. 

"Computer, freeze program!" she said. "I'll be right there Captain, Kira out!"

"Typical!" she repeated.

She could always count on *Dukat* to disturb her! She took a good look at the holo-creation of the Cardassian Gul and regretted not being able to go through the entire program before being interrupted. 

"Oh, well. My *own* Dukat. I'll be back to end what we just started here in a while!" she said and put her hand to his chin. It felt so real. So amazingly perfect. The replica was a stunning copy of the real Cardassian Gul and Kira felt a pang of disbelief at what she was about to do. But she'd rather do that, than sleep with the real Dukat. 

"At least I'll get rid of the desire I feel" she murmured, and suddenly felt an understanding for those who enjoyed the more physical aspects of the holocharacters. She had always condemned people who sought comfort in the arms of a holocharacter, and she had never done so before in her life. But now? She could understand them. 

"Computer, save program!" Kira said and Dukat and the Holana River disappeared, leaving only the characteristic chequered pattern of the holoemitters in their place. Then she exited the holosuite to see what Dukat wanted. 

To tell the truth, she felt a bit awkward to meet him after what had just happened in the holosuite. But she didn't have much choice but to go see him. 

*** Part 12 - INVESTIGATION PROCEDURES ***

When Dukat woke up that morning his mind was filled with memories from the evening before. He felt puzzlement at how abruptly it had ended. Kira had become upset with him and she had eaten her food in a couple of minutes sharp. Then she had gotten up to leave. He wasn't sure if it was something he had said - or if it had something to do with that holoprogram. She had seemed positively disturbed when she had received it in his company the night before… 

Dukat rose from the bed and went to get ready. He surely would find out what exactly had happened the night before. Even if it meant calling in a few debts where Quark was concerned. He knew the Ferengi had more information on this than the Major would have preferred… 

Quark's position on the station was somewhat unique and considering his origin, the bartender was amazingly discreet. Or maybe not? Blabbing about his customers would be bad for business, after all. Dukat grinned. And telling anyone about Kira's doings would be bad for survival… but Dukat knew how to handle Quark. He would get the information he wanted - one way or the other. 

* * *

This - patience - he had been showing since that day in his quarters were beginning to wear him down. And as he was making his way to Quark's quarters he had made up his mind. Today - tonight - was the night when he would finally seduce Major Kira. 

He stopped at Quark's quarters and pressed the communicator. No answer. Dukat was growing impatient as he kept waiting. 

"Quark!" he shouted. 

No answer. 

"Quark! I know you're in there! Wake up - you night-carousing, lazy Ferengi! Open the door!"

Finally there was a muffled sound of bare feet on the floor and the doors to the bartender's quarters slid open as he finally managed to yawn a sleepy:  
"Enter…"

But he abruptly woke up when he saw who was standing outside his doorstep. 

"Dukat? What can I do for you this morning?" 

Quark's eyes were blinking at the strong light in the corridor and his face looked a little weary, as if the night before had really gotten the better of him. 

"Morning?" Dukat said in a mocking tone. "To most it is lunch time!" 

"Oh, whatever!" 

The short Ferengi stifled another yawn and waved impatiently with his hand at the Cardassian Gul. 

"Tell me what you want so I can go back to sleep. We had a bet going to the wee small hours of the night yesterday. You only saw the beginning of it before you and the Major cut your evening so short! O'Brien actually beat the Doctor at darts yesterday! I won a fair amount of latinum on that bet!" 

Quark's rubbed his hands in a very pleased manner. Suddenly he didn't seem so tired anymore. 

"I don't care if you made 200 *bars* of latinum. I want you to do me a favor!"

The words were not a request, it was an order. Uttered by the former Prefect of Bajor and Quark knew better than to protest. The Ferengi's features became calculating and he tilted his head. 

"Oh, what kind of favor would that be?"

Dukat moved further into the room and the doors slid shut behind him. 

"I want to know what the holo-program Major Kira got yesterday is!"

Quark's features became tense and suspicious. 

// He looks a bit uncomfortable… // Dukat noted. 

"What concern is that of yours, Dukat?" he said. 

"Oh, I can think of many things. But she had me really intrigued yesterday. The way she blushed and barked at you for coming over while we were having dinner."

"Yeah, well. That might not have been the smartest thing I ever did!" Quark admitted and started rubbing his ear as he always did when he got nervous. 

"So, Quark. Come on now. Tell me."

"There's nothing *to* tell. It was a program of entertainment for the Major. Nothing of importance. Could I interest you in a Risean holo-suite program instead? Come here and I will show you. "

Quark made an effort to move further into his quarters, but was stopped by Dukat before long. 

The much taller Cardassian grabbed a hold of Quark and lifted him high up in the air, slamming him against the bulkhead of the station. The Ferengi's bony head made an unpleasant thump against the metal. 

"Ouch!" he cried out. 

"I am not interested in any Risean holo-programs. I despise holo-suite programs. They are false and uninteresting! I want to know about Major Kira and her program - and you are going to tell me!" Dukat said and leaned his head into Quark's face. 

Dukat's eyes were narrow slits and his mouth a thin line. His jaws clenched and he knew it was only a matter of time before the cowardly bartender would give in to his threats. 

"All right, all right Dukat. Put me down!" Quark said, his voice quivering, as he tried to get Dukat to loosen his grip around his throat. 

Dukat growled contentedly and put the Ferengi down, loosening his grip just enough to allow Quark to breathe. 

"Tell me!"

"It should be worth at least a few slips of latinum to you?" Quark said, trying to save face. . "After all I will be doing both you and the Major a favor!" 

Dukat tilted his head and looked intensely at Quark. 

// Doing us *both* a favor? // Dukat thought. // Now, *that* sounds intriguing… // 

"All right Quark. I'll give you two slips of latinum. But that means you tell me *everything*!" 

"Five!" the Ferengi offered. 

"Two slips - don't push your luck!" Dukat said and squeezed just a little bit harder until tiny drops of sweat became visible on the Ferengi forehead. 

"Okay, enough already! Would you just let me go? *Please*.!" Quark hissed and started kicking with his short legs. "At least I am awake now, thanks to you!" He tried to sound offended - just enough to save face and not really let slip how scared he was of Dukat. 

"Major Kira came to see me last week, the day after that Klingon brawl - and asked me a somewhat delicate favor… " the Ferengi began. 

"And that was?" Dukat pushed. 

"Er… well, you see, she wanted a very specific program. Holosuite program you know… the one I gave her… "

"Yes!" Dukat's voice was beginning to sound impatient. 

"Awww… " Quark moaned. "What am I going to tell the Major? She'll have my head on a plate!" 

"Quark… " Dukat said and pressed his hands against Quark's neck just a little bit harder. Quark coughed and hesitantly continued: 

"Well, the specifics of the program was that it would include a certain river on Bajor. A very romantic place and very Bajoran. The Holana River if I am not mistaken… and… a certain Cardassian male…the specifics of the program were rather particular."

Quark stopped talking and looked up at the Gul. 

"And what was the program to be about?" Dukat asked. 

"That's just it. You know there are some people who want really good replicas of people.. good enough to be able to have - er - physical relationships with the holocharacters… "

"And that is what Major Kira requested?" Dukat said - a wide grin appearing in his Cardassian face. Then he asked Quark - although he already knew what the answer would be. 

"Who was the Cardassian in the program?" 

Quark rubbed his hands again, nervously this time. 

"Major Kira will *kill* me!" 

Dukat looked at him with a smile. 

"I will kill you if you *don't* tell me!" 

"It was you… the Cardassian in the program was to be - you! " Quark said. "Although I cannot understand why the Major would want that…."

Dukat looked at Quark with black eyes and the Ferengi quickly said. 

"I mean it is obvious that you are attracted to her and that she could have the *real* thing… "

Dukat threw two slips of latinum on a table and left without another word. 

*** Part 13 - EXCUSES AND ADMISSIONS ***

Kira stopped at the entrance to the holosuite and put a lock on it. With any luck she'd be able to calm down before meeting the real Dukat and also be rid of him in a few minutes so she could go back to the program. She knew this was sick. But she knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she didn't get this *desire* out of her system soon, she'd jump on Dukat in a corridor, like a Cardassian Vole in heat. And she definitely did *not* want to do that. She was sure Dukat would enjoy it immensely - but she sure wouldn't. At least not the part *afterwards* she thought with an ironic smile. 

Just the thought of having his slender body against her. Hearing him moan with pleasure in her arms… A shot of desire struck through her body and she stopped outside the holosuite, leaning against the doors, which slid shut behind her, trying to catch her breath. 

// Prophets, Nerys! Calm down or you will make a fool out of yourself! // 

Right about now that didn't seem like a bad idea. Making a fool out of herself by jumping on Dukat… 

She drew another deep breath, pulled the sleeves of her uniform down and ran her fingers through her hair. She licked her lips and put on a very stern face.

// Remember what he's done. That'll cool you down, Nerys! // she told herself. 

But somehow the images of the Prefect of Bajor speaking to her people changed into just an ordinary man, a Cardassian male, sitting by a table at Quark's. Eyes filled with a pain no one but a parent who lost their child could quite comprehend. Or to the image of that slender shape sitting by the window in his own quarters, his face stern with a loneliness she had never imagined Dukat would feel. She remembered the images of him sitting in the Brig of Deep Space Nine, condemned a war criminal, waiting to be shipped off to Earth to be sentenced. 

She remembered all the events that had lead to Dukat being here right now in the first place. 

After killing Jadzia, the Pah-Wraith had left him and Dukat had run off to parts unknown. But after that - he had returned to Deep Space Nine with information - much needed to get rid of the Dominion. He had managed to help them convince the Vorta that The Founders were not Gods and there had been an uprising among the Vorta and the Jem'Hadar.

Whilst most of the Dominion had left, a few stayed behind. One of those was Weyoun and, strange as it may sound, Dukat and Weyoun were working very closely to have some kind of cooperation between Cardassia and the Vorta homeworld. Dukat had indeed changed. He had helped them end the war with the Dominion. But Kira could not put her finger on what changed him. If it was the death of Ziyal, waking up from the madness that had followed or the shock after killing Jadzia Dax? Maybe the experience with the Pah-Wraith had a more profound impact on him than he - or even she - was aware of…

Kira frowned. What was she doing? Trying to justify Dukat's actions? Or was she in the process of forgiving him? How could she do that? The man who had killed thousands of her people? But he *had* changed! Wasn't it a good thing if she could forgive him?

// Yes, Nerys, it is okay to *forgive* him but to fall in *love* with him? // Kira almost jumped at the word. 

// Who said anything about *love*? // 

Kira stopped as she was climbing down the stairs at Quark's, leaving the upper floor where the holosuites were located. She swallowed hard. Then she clenched her jaw and kept going. Just a slip of the mind… nothing more. 

So where was Dukat anyway?

"Computer - locate Gul Dukat"

"Gul Dukat is in his quarters"

"Kira to Gul Dukat"

"Dukat here" his rich voice responded momentarily. "Ah, Major, what can I do for you?" 

"The question is what you want. You called for me, remember?" 

"Ah, yes. It is not a pressing matter. I assured Captain Sisko he didn't have to locate you when I heard that you were - busy."

// Is it my imagination or was he chuckling? As if he *knew* what I was doing? Prophets! Stop being so paranoid, Nerys! // she told herself. But she couldn't stop her heart from beating harder. 

"Well I might as well see you now since Sisko *did* locate me!" Kira concluded and tapped her badge. She made her way over to Dukat's quarters. She didn't particularly want to go there but didn't have much choice. He'd really wonder why she didn't want to come unless she had a very good reason. She had been to his quarter many times before when he was running the station. When he had lived in Captain Sisko's quarters… 

She pushed the communicator to Dukat's quarters. 

"Enter" 

His voice was muffled behind the doors. Then they slid open. She nearly gasped when they parted. He sat by the window, at the exact same spot he had done the other night when she had watched him. His quarters were dimly lit, and he lifted his head with a slight smile at her. 

"Oh, I forgot, you Bajorans want more light… I am sorry Major. I don't know *where* my manners are… " 

He smiled again and then he said:  
"Computer, increase light level with 50 percent."

Kira did what she could to make her heart stop beating so fiercely. She swallowed and managed to get her voice in order. 

"Thank you Dukat."

"You're welcome. " 

He stretched his legs and put his hands on his thigh, as if unaware of it. Kira couldn't take her eyes off him any more now than she had been able to a couple of days ago. Her heart was pounding and a growing ache was becoming evident in the pit of her stomach.

 

// Prophets, he is magnificent! Has he got *any* idea what he's doing to me? // 

Kira licked her lips and said: 

"So why were you looking for me?" 

"Oh, nothing that couldn't wait. But now that you are here…" 

He uncoiled from the window and his wiry body moved with predatory elegance as he came closer to her and looked at her. He had a way of always getting too close for comfort when he was talking to someone. As if he focused entirely on the person in his company. She was caught in his gaze, like a fly before a spider. 

"Yes?" Kira said. Her voice was husky and she tried to clear her throat. 

"Oh Major. I hope you are not coming down with a cold" he said with a slight smile. Then he turned around with his back at her. She noticed he seemed a bit uncomfortable. 

// Well he must be totally cold-blooded not to feel the electricity between us… // Kira admitted to herself. It was almost tangible - as if sparks were flying in the air. Kira could feel her lips tingling. Longing for Dukat to give her the kiss that his counterpart in the holosuite was just about o give her when he interrupted her program. 

"What I wanted to talk to you about, was something of a very personal nature. There are a lot of half-caste children on Cardassia since the Occupation of Bajor." He silenced and kept looking out on the stars before he continued. "Some of them are very religious and miss a place where they can go. So I have some plans - and I would very much appreciate your personal opinion on them"

Dukat turned around. Yet again his eyes were dark. The pupils were almost fully dilated. Kira couldn't look away. 

"What kind of plans?" 

"I wanted to build a Bajoran temple on Cardassia. In memory of Ziyal… " he said. 

Kira didn't know what to say. When she had finally started believing she knew this man, he did something else to totally catch her off guard. 

*** Part 14 - THOSE BIG BROWN EYES***

"I love to look into your big brown eyes  
They talk to me and seem to hypnotize  
They say the things nobody dares to say  
And I'm not about to let you fly away… "

Deuces Are Wild - Aerosmith "Big Ones"

Dukat watched the shock on Kira's face as she entered his quarters. He had purposefully lowered the lights to a comfortable level for a Cardassian and then he had placed himself by the window, in the exact position he had been when he - made his performance - the other night. 

Deliberately he teased her, just to see how she would react. He realized he had caught her at the exact right moment. She must have gotten *involved* with his counterpart, because she looked at him as if he was good enough to eat. She tried to hide it of course, but didn't succeed very well. 

He chuckled inside. Oh, she *did* want him. It felt so good not being alone - feeling like that anymore. And she would have him - eventually. 

He had talked to Sisko and asked him to page Major Kira for him. Sisko had reluctantly done so, even though he had told the Captain it wasn't necessary. He was glad that Sisko had obliged though. He couldn't help but smile as he uncoiled from the window and walked towards Kira. She looked at him as if he was… a delicacy she hadn't eaten in months. A surge of need shot through his body and he turned away from her. He had indeed something important to talk to her about. Nothing urgent - but important. 

So he began speaking, ignoring the longing he felt, using the most pleasant tone of voice he could. He knew many women enjoyed his voice. And he was about to give Major Kira a full display of how really nice it could sound if he wanted it to. The desire he felt for her gave it an even richer tone. 

So he told her what had been on his mind - told her about the Bajoran Temple on Cardassia and then he turned around just to watch her jaw drop. He smiled at her. Knowing her, she probably thought he had brought her there only to taunt her. To be perfectly honest, he couldn't blame her. He had been doing a lot of that the last few days… 

He watched her as she tried to regain her composure. 

"That is a… very nice idea. I never expected something like that from you!" she admitted. 

"You know Major. I have changed. These last few months have been an eye-opener to me…"

He fell silent and Kira looked at him with those big brown eyes and he nearly forgot what he was going to say. 

// That is a rare occurrence indeed // he thought with a self-ironic smile. He wanted to lean forward, to pull her slender shape into his arms. He wanted to kiss her and touch her, he wanted to drive her crazy with desire, like no man had ever done before. And he was going to do just that. But not yet. He had to get through to her first - to let her know that his change was genuine. 

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked abruptly and moved over to the replicator. 

Kira nodded and he ordered a raktajino. 

"You know me better than I'd like you to!" she muttered as he handed her the cup of hot Klingon coffee. 

Dukat grinned. 

"I'd like to know you a whole lot better, Major" he purred and let his hand touch the back of hers as he let go of the cup. He stood close to her, as was Cardassian custom. As usual it seemed to make her a bit uncomfortable and she moved back slightly. She bit her lip and it turned into a dark red color that was totally delicious. Oblivious to his desire she watched him as he extended his arm in a gesture to invite her to sit down on his couch. 

She didn't respond to his comment. Instead, she put the cup on the table and fell onto the sofa as if her legs just went limp. Dukat smiled again and strode around the table and sat down next to her with his own cup of hot red-leaf tea in his hands. She stiffened as his arm brushed against hers, but she didn't say anything. He was thoroughly enjoying the moment. He leaned back on the sofa and took a sip from the cup - then he started talking. 

"You know when Ziyal… died…" he still had trouble accepting the fact that his beloved daughter was actually gone forever "… I temporarily lost my mind." That too, was a difficult admission, but he had to do this right or she wouldn't listen to him, and more importantly, she wouldn't believe him. 

Kira laughed. It was a short, humorless laugh. 

"Tell me about it!" she spat. 

"If you allow me to. That's exactly what I am about to do, Major!" he said mildly. 

She looked up at him over the rim of her cup as she blew on it. It was too hot to drink. Her eyes were fixated on him when she said. 

"I'm sorry, Dukat. Go on."

As he began to tell the story to her, he relived each moment in his own mind. 

"When Ziyal had died, I felt like I had died with her. I merely *existed* through those days in what felt like a black hole. It seemed there was no way out. No way around the emptiness I felt. Nothing mattered any more. The doctors gave me a clean bill of health after a while. When the worst was over. When I had stopped huddling in a corner, crying. They pronounced that my mind was all right again." He paused and looked her straight in the eye. Remembering that time in his life was tough. Some of it was a total blur. "They were so wrong. I had begun hallucinating. All the people I ever respected or the people I ever hated surrounded me in every waking moment. So, when I rescued Sisko" 

He looked up at Kira and saw the disbelief in her eyes. He put down the cup of tea and rose. He started pacing. 

"I know what you're thinking Major. But whether you choose to believe it or not. I actually saved Captain Sisko's life. I could have killed him a number of times - I almost did. I could have left him on the Honshu. But something stopped me. All I have ever wanted from that man was acknowledgment and respect. When he refused to give it to me I blew up and he pushed me over the edge. I left him on that forsaken planet we were marooned on, but sent a message for the Defiant to come and get him. I didn't want Sisko to die. I respect him. I respect all of you!"

Dukat fell silent but Kira didn't open her mouth. After a while he stopped by the window and stared at the stars. 

"Images of you, Weyoun, Sisko and Damar followed me wherever I tried to go. You were all mocking me, telling me what a coward and a traitor I was. Then I was possessed by that Pah-Wraith and managed to kill Jadzia Dax." Dukat rubbed his forehead and let his finger rest in the shallow dip of his meshavar. A splitting headache was emerging. But he had to do this. He had to get through to Kira. If he couldn't get through to her everything that he had done, everything he was going to do wouldn't matter. It would all be in vain. 

"At one time I nearly killed myself. No, I don't say that for you to pity me!" he said and looked sternly at Kira. "It is just a statement of fact. But then I realized that if I *did* kill myself I'd be gone forever. And all that would remain of Dukat would be the memory of a cruel madman. The Prefect of Bajor - the one who murdered Jadzia Dax - the man who murdered countless Bajorans during the Occupation. And I didn't want that. I still don't want that. So I began admitting some of the mistakes I have made. I began realizing some rather ugly truths about myself and my people."

Dukat silenced for a while again and Kira watched him. She didn't say a word. Which, in itself, was rather amazing, Dukat admitted. Normally she wouldn't listen to him. She never before *wanted* to listen to him as he tried to explain or excuse himself. Now those big, wonderful brown eyes were locked onto him as he was telling the story of his change. 

"I realize what was wrong. I have never admitted to myself, to Ziyal or to anyone that I was responsible for what happened during the Occupation. I never realized that my need for power was greater than my care for life. Bajor and the Bajorans - they were only a vehicle for me. A vehicle to be able to climb the power-ladder of Cardassia. Once I realized that I had to do something to be able to forgive myself. So far, I haven't really been able to do that. But doing something for the Bajorans, for the Federation - for you and for the others on Deep Space Nine would be a beginning. The information I gave Captain Sisko about the Dominion was only the beginning, Nerys!"

For the first time, she opened her mouth. 

"That's good, Dukat. That's very good. I still don't know if this means I could ever forgive you. I might want to, but I don't know if I *can*. I don't know if it is my place to forgive you." Kira said. 

Dukat stopped staring out through the window and came back to sit beside her. 

"At least you're listening now. You never used to listen to me before… " he said and put a hand on her thigh. He could feel her tension through the red cloth of her uniform. Then he leaned forward to put his cool grayish Cardassian hand on her soft Bajoran cheek. His thumb caressed her skin softly. Gently he pulled her towards him, their eyes locked and it was as if the surroundings just evaporated. There was only the two of them - she and him. He could feel her breath on his face. Warm, sweet and intoxicating. Dukat couldn't stop himself, he leaned closer and then he kissed her. 

At first her lips against his felt hard and unwilling, but only seconds after they met, she softened against him and he let his tongue enter her mouth. 

// Oh, how I have longed for this! // he admitted to himself as he let go of all the painful memories of the past few months and just let himself be absorbed by the warm caress of her lips against his. He let himself fully enjoy the desire that built inside him as her tongue met his in a delicate dance. Then he felt her arms coil around his broad neck and pull him closer. Her soft torso pressed against him and he moaned silently. 

"Oh, Nerys…" 

He let his arm slide up along her back and into her hair. The short, auburn curls felt soft to the touch and he gently pressed her closer to him as the kiss deepened. Her soft moan against his mouth nearly drove him mad. He wanted her. He wanted her so much it hurt. 

"Oh Prophets! What am I doing?" Kira's small, soft hands pushed him away with force. Then she sprung up from the sofa and stared at him in disbelief. 

"Is *that* what this is all about?" she shouted. "All your pretty speeches and verbose promises to become a good ally to me, to Bajor and the Federation. It is all a ploy to *seduce* me!" 

Dukat rose from the couch and stared back at her. His eyes filled with the same disbelief. 

"No!" he shouted. "No! I meant every word. Damn it Nerys! Can't you for *once* in your life give me the benefit of the doubt? I kissed you because I wanted to. I kissed you because I *needed* to! But that doesn't mean that all I said was a *lie*!" 

Kira spun around and left him standing in the middle of his quarters wondering what really happened. 

*** Part 15 - SOULSEARCHING ***

Kira ran out of Dukat's quarters. She was ready to scream. She was ready to cry. She was ready to - go back into those quarters and take what he offered her! She wanted him with an intensity that rendered her speechless. It was as if - now that she finally had admitted to having those feelings for Dukat - they wouldn't be ignored. They couldn't be ignored and she didn't know what to do about it. 

She ran all the way to her quarters. Luckily she didn't meet anyone she knew on the way there. But once she reached them she stopped cold at the door. That was when she remembered what she had been up to when Dukat had called her. So she headed back to the holosuites. Now, more than ever, she needed the help that Quark's establishment could give her. 

Kira smiled wryly. This was embarrassing. 

// I can't believe I am doing this! // 

She was breathing hard, and her entire body felt like it was on fire.

// Calm down, Nerys! All he did was *kiss* you, for everything that is sacred! // 

What was wrong with her? Was that all it took, some sweet talk and then she would give in? Kira felt the tears rise in her eyes and stopped outside Quark's. Instead of walking over to the holosuites she took a left turn and walked right into the Bajoran Temple on the promenade. It was empty. Kira drew a deep sigh of relief and sat down on one of the benches and leaned her head back. She had to meditate - to think. 

It was strange - the serenity that always came over her whenever she entered this place. Slowly the passion subsided and she felt calmer. But she knew, without any doubts at all, that Dukat never would let this rest. She had bared her innermost self to him. She had shown him what she felt, even if it was only her body that betrayed her. He knew now how much she wanted him and she knew that he would take advantage of that. 

Kira rose again and went out of the Temple. She knew what she could do to get rid of this problem. She wasn't worried about Dukat. He had always wanted her. He had never made that particular fact a secret. He had done everything but to profess his undying love. And even if he did, she would never believe him. He wanted her. He lusted for her and the feeling was mutual. *That* was what worried her. But love? - No! 

And lust was something that was easy to get rid of. Determined to do just that, Kira went back to Quark's bar and unlocked the holosuite. 

"Computer - resume program!"

* * *

Dukat stopped cold in his apartment as he watched Kira leave. But the doors hadn't even shut behind her before Dukat left. He hurried through the corridors to Quark's. With any luck, the Major would go back to the holoprogram she had been running when he interrupted her. So he did what he had intended to do all along. He tracked Quark down. 

"All right Quark. Give me the security codes for the holosuites!" 

"Dukat, Nice to see you too!" Quark said as he stopped pouring Betazoidian Champagne in Morn's glass. 

// Seems Betazoidian Champagne is the flavor of the week for Morn. // Dukat thought and then returned his attention to the Ferengi bartender. 

"I don't have time to play games. I am in a hurry. Now give them to me!" Dukat said and threw ten bars of Latinum on the counter. Ten bars of Latinum - that was a lot of latinum, and the Ferengi's eyes widened in shock and greed. 

"Oh, well, Dukat. Eh, you won't use the codes to hurt the Major in any way, will you?" he said with a sly smile on his lips. 

"I can't guarantee what I'll do in the *heat* of the moment" Dukat grinned. "But no, I don't intend to harm her!" 

"All right. Here you go!" Quark said and leaned forward over the counter to whisper in Dukat's ear. 

"The security codes for the Major's program is Alpha Omega 211"

Dukat repeated the code in his mind and then he slipped away. 

Quark stood silently, watching Dukat as he made his way up the stairs. 

"I don't want to be around when Major Kira finds out the truth about her little *program*" he said aloud. "Maybe it is time to go to Risa for an extended holiday. Maybe they could use a Ferengi bartender on Risa…" 

* * *

Dukat ran up the stairs and entered the holosuite, repeating the Major's lockout codes aloud. 

// Thank God Quark isn't using voiceprints… // Dukat thought to himself. 

"Computer, delete holocharacter of Dukat!" he said. 

"Confirm deletion of holocharacter Dukat!" the computer repeated. 

Dukat repeated the request and the image of himself evaporated from the program. 

"Computer. Is this program adaptive?" 

"Confirmation - Program of Cardassian Love Affair is adaptive" the computer announced. 

// Good, then I won't have to read the entire thing. She will expect the program to do some unexpected things… // 

Luckily he was wearing almost the exact same clothes as the Dukat hologram had been wearing upon deletion. So all he had to do was to request another sweater and another pair of shoes and he was all set to go… 

He had no more than put the clothes on and thrown the others into the recycler by the holodeck entrance when he heard the unmistakable sound of someone trying to access the program. Dukat jumped to the ground and lay on the blanket where his counterpart had been lying a few moments earlier. 

"Computer - resume program" 

*** Part 16 - IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT ***

Kira stopped behind the doors and leaned against them. Then they vanished and the entire scenario showed the beautiful Holana River. No strange entrance destroyed the beautiful landscape and it felt so real. 

Kira was just about to go over to Dukat when she stopped a few meters from where the entrance had been and said: 

"Computer Pause Program!" 

She stared at the slender shape lying on the blanket where she had left him only a couple of hours ago. It felt like a lifetime. She had been thinking about what Dukat had told her and she began to believe that maybe he had changed. Maybe she would be able to forgive him if he went through with some of the things he had mentioned. Prophets knew both Sisko and Odo had changed their perception of the Cardassian since he had helped them with information of the Dominion. But Sisko had always been quick to forgive - or to at least accept changes. Odo was another thing entirely. She was surprised to see how his attitude towards Dukat had changed. 

She shrugged the thoughts off. Then she opened her mouth. 

"Computer, create a set of a blouse and a skirt. Items number 78 A and 402 D"

She knew it was silly but she wished she had taken the time to change clothes and take a sonic shower before coming to the holodeck. It was really stupid, because this version of Dukat wouldn't care if she smelled bad or if she had put on her spring-perfume. He wouldn't care if she wore the body-shaped military uniform or a skirt… But since she was going to go through with this she decided she wanted to do the most of it. A wicked smile came to her lips as she continued. 

"Computer create a pair of satin and lace panties. Item no: 24 B size 4a Federation Standard. And a brassiere to go with it - size 75 B…"

* * *

Dukat didn't know what to do. Where he was lying he had a full view of her where she stood. He couldn't move, since she had *paused* the program - and he couldn't look away. Not that he really wanted to. Her beautifully shaped figure filled his entire view as she undressed and threw the uniform into a cabinet locker in the wall. She stripped completely naked and he had to force himself not to gasp at the sight. She was indeed a sight to behold… 

// [Cireo moygewan - cireo visf!] - what a body - what a sight! // he thought to himself, slipping into Kardasi without even realizing it. He felt the arousal creeping up on him and he swiftly closed his eyes to lock out the sight of her. 

// Calm down Dukat! She will be positively distraught if the "holocharacter" flies up and jumps her! // 

But that was what he wanted to do! But he restrained himself and kept watching as Kira put on something positively sexy. A pair of black underwear that didn't leave much to the imagination and a brassiere that hugged her perfectly shaped breasts in a fashion that made his mouth totally dry. A slight discomfort nagged at the outer rim of his consciousness. A bad conscience? - he wondered - for enjoying watching her like this without her knowing it? 

// She doesn't know it is really me… // That thought actually made him slightly uncomfortable. 

But he didn't have time to think about it. Kira opened her mouth again as she buttoned the skirt she was wearing and then she said: 

"Computer, resume program" 

Dukat could finally move over to his stomach. Kira would be most astonished to see her holocharacter ready and willing so soon… And that was exactly what he was. Ready and willing. He didn't know how he would be able to restrain himself. Watching her get dressed in those beautiful - *revealing* clothes had him gasping for air. He couldn't remember seeing her wear anything else but the uniform. Oh, but he had… but it was long ago. 

He wanted to reach out and touch her - to reach out and kiss her. 

She slid down beside him and put her hand on his cheek. 

"Now, where were we?" she said with a broad smile and Dukat couldn't help but turn his head to kiss the palm of her hand. Her smile was so relaxed, so full of mischief. She had never looked at him like that before… She let out a sigh, which could mean just about anything. That she wanted him to continue? That she wanted him to stop? 

Dukat preferred to believe that she wanted him to go on, so he reached out and touched her face, just as he had done only moments ago in his own quarters. He could still see that her lips were a little swollen from the passionate kiss they had shared. He wanted to take up where they left off and he reached out to the basket with food and put it aside. Then he slowly slid closer to her and put his hand on her waist. 

// She's not asking me to stop! // he thought with an amazed look at her lovely features. 

Instead of an insult or a slap on his hand she wiggled closer to him and put her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes were filled with anticipation and need as she pulled him closer. All he had to do was lean his head down and drink all the sweetness he wanted from her wonderful mouth. As their lips met, a surge of desire shot through him like a lightning bolt and he moaned into her mouth as he pulled her even closer. He pressed her against his body and he could feel himself pressing against her slender thigh. There could be no doubt that she knew how he felt now. The tension in his groin grew even more as he felt her press against him - voluntarily. He leaned his head back and gasped for air as her hands went on a tour over his neck. Curiously she let her fingers touch the ridges on his neck and throat. 

// Does she realize what this is doing to me? // he thought. His head couldn't construct a single sentence. He couldn't speak - he couldn't do anything but succumb to the passion she provoked in him. He felt like he was on fire. The desire that had been building up inside him for the entire week, for a *lifetime*, made him feel like he was going to be engulfed in it. 

"Oh Dukat!" she moaned as she crept closer, she grabbed his slender waist and pulled him towards her. In a sliding movement - he didn't really know how it happened - he was on top of her, and the essence of his entire being was centered around the incredible sensation of feeling her warmth so close to him. He positioned himself between her legs and pressed his groin closer to her and she gasped underneath him. He could feel her hands reach to his head and run through his hair. He withdrew just enough to be able to pull her blouse out of the skirt when she spoke. 

"Prophets, Dukat! I want you so much. I've always wanted you!" she admitted. 

Her voice was husky and he opened his eyes to look into her familiar, yet foreign face. She was Bajoran and she was the most beautiful woman he knew. But she didn't know who she was about to make love to. 

He couldn't do this to himself - he couldn't do this to *her*!. He wanted her for real. Body, heart - and soul! But he wanted her *so* much right now. He wasn't sure he would be able to force himself to let go of her. He bent his head down to kiss her again and he let himself enjoy her soft body underneath his, grinding his hips to hers, feeling like he wanted to burrow himself deep into her. But he couldn't! He just couldn't! He couldn't believe he was about to do what he did. But he had to - no matter how difficult it was. This just wasn't right. 

// What was I thinking? // he asked himself. 

// What was I thinking when I took the holo-character's place? // 

He knew the answer. // I *wasn't* thinking at all! // 

"I can't do this!" he muttered. 

He pulled away from her. She let out a sound that was positively unhappy. He looked down at her. Her soft, red lips were swollen from his kisses. Her face was flushed and her eyes filled with an honest passion he had never seen in her eyes before and he leaned over to kiss her again. She pulled at him. Pulled him down on her. But he knew if he let her continue he wouldn't be able to walk away, and he *had* to walk away. She'd hate him even more if he went through with this. It wasn't right! He pulled back again and clenched his jaw. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Nerys… " he said and looked at her. The desire in him was so strong that it hurt, but he couldn't go through with it. He wanted to make love to her. He didn't want casual sex on the holodeck. That would mean she could go on pretending he didn't exist outside of the holosuite. That way she would be able to continue pretending their feelings for each other. The desire - and the love, didn't exist. He didn't want that. 

He had changed. The Dukat he used to be would have taken Kira gladly with no regrets. But now? No, that wasn't who he was anymore. No more than he could go back to what he was, could he go through with this. 

His voice was full of restraint as he drew a deep breath and started over. 

"Nerys - it is me. It is really *me* - Dukat!" 

There! He said it. Then he just got up and left the holosuite. He could hear the loud gasp she let out when he walked through the doors. But it gave him no satisfaction at all. Instead - a sense of loss he had never felt before took control of him and he sighed deeply as he went back to his own quarters. The desire kept throbbing inside of him and he leaned his head in his hands. He could feel the tears pressing against his eyelids and he couldn't believe it. He had never *ever* cried over a woman and he was *not* about to start now! He reached for an empty bottle of Kanar and grabbed a hold of its slender neck. Then he threw it into the wall. 

Thousands of shimmering pieces of glass scattered through out the floor. But it didn't make him feel better. 

In fact - it didn't help at all… 

*** Part 17 - ACCEPTING WHAT CANNOT BE CHANGED ***

"Should I, Should I - Pretend and close my eyes?  
Should I, Should I - Sit in for just one more time?  
Should I, Should I - Hold back just to survive?  
Should I, Should I - Give in - like the other times before?"

Should I? Kingdom Come - Hands of Time 1991

Kira couldn't believe how real he felt. He felt like true flesh and blood and the scent from him was stronger than anything she had ever felt before. It made her head spin, it made her body ache for him and she was lost the minute she slid down on the blanket beside him. 

When she entered the holosuite she had still not been sure she was ready to go through with it. But she told herself she could always stop the program at any second. This Dukat would never force her into something she couldn't do. But the minute she felt his lips kiss the inside of her palm she knew she wouldn't stop him. She would never be able to stop him again. She let out a slight whimper when his tongue gently caressed her palm. 

She didn't think he heard her. 

His eyes were filled with a desire she had never seen. They were darker than a black hole and yet burning. She gasped for air as he leaned forward to kiss her. Her hands flew involuntarily to his neck, curious, needy. She wanted to feel his skin underneath her fingers and she let her hands caress the ridges on his shoulders, let them follow it all the way up to his ears and chin. He leaned his head back and his mouth was slightly open to draw a deep breath. His desire seemed to match her own. It had hit her the moment she entered the holodeck. 

// No // she thought. // It's been there - all along. // 

She didn't know how it happened. She just grabbed for him and suddenly he was on top of her. His entire slender, but muscular body pressed against hers and she could feel his hardness press against her aching mound. He ground his hips against her in evident pleasure and she couldn't wait. She just couldn't wait to feel him inside her. 

Her hands flew up to his hair and she allowed herself to savor the moment, feeling it slide through her fingers - it was so soft - like Andorian silk. She pressed slightly at the back of his head to draw him closer and she put her legs around his thighs to meet his movements. She enjoyed the feel of him, the scent of him and she didn't even send a passing thought to the fact that this was a replica of the man that had been her worst enemy for decades. 

She just wanted him - so badly. 

But all of the sudden he pulled away from her. He locked at her with longing and anguish in his eyes and she didn't understand it. 

"I can't do it" he mumbled. 

// Can't do what? // she thought. // He's been programmed to do this… // 

She pulled at him and drew him closer again and his lips met hers. She forgot all about his hesitation and started to pull at his clothes. He kissed her and seemed to give in, but then he pulled back again

// Oh, my god. Has Quark put in some damn "play-hard-to-get" subroutine into the program? // she thought. 

But then he spoke. 

"Nerys" he said with that incredibly vibrant voice. 

He fell silent and then he drew a deep breath and started over again. 

"Nerys, it is me. It is really *me*, Dukat!" he said. 

At first it was as if she didn't hear what he said, and then he rose to his feet. That slender body just unwrapped itself in a flowing movement and he left. Through the holodeck doors. She felt the involuntary gasp fly out of her mouth.

// Holy Prophets! Oh, holy Prophets! // was all she could think. 

* * *

Dukat sat by the window again. Just like he had that other night. This time he had leaned his head back to the wall and his eyes were closed. His face was a strict mask of pain and control. The small pieces of glass lay scattered on the floor and they shimmered in the light from the soft light emanating from the lamp he had lit by the entrance to his quarters. 

He was so excited he didn't know what to do. It seemed the passionate feelings Nerys had provoked in him wouldn't subside. But he refused to repeat what he had done the other night. He deserved this. He had to remember that she *didn't* want him. 

// That might not be true. She might want me. But she sure as hell does *not* love me! // 

He waited for the pain to swallow him and it didn't take long before it did. He opened his eyes and looked out through the window. He asked himself why he had fallen in love with her. Why and when? 

He knew why. She was the most stubborn woman he had ever come across and the very first time he had laid eyes on her he had wanted her. But it wasn't until later that the desire had transformed into something else. Maybe it was when they went to find the Ravinok? Because she saved Ziyal's life? Or was it later. When she had taken his daughter to her. Despite the fact that he was his father? Or was it even more recent than that? The images of Kira flooded his mind and got jumbled. It felt like he had always loved her. A big part of it was the fact that nobody alive knew him as well as Major Kira did. It was rather ironic when you thought about it. 

He let out a short, dry laugh as he realized that a former Bajoran resistance fighter knew him better than anyone. Even his own family… 

Dukat sighed deeply and decided he had to do something. Maybe he should get off the station for a while. He was sure the Major wouldn't want to see him for quite some time. Maybe never again. It hurt, but he could live with it. He had lived through Ziyal's death. He could live through this. If only… If only he didn't want her so much!

* * * 

What was she going to do? Her body still ached for him, even though the realization that he was the *real* Dukat should have calmed her down like an ice cold shower. But it hadn't. The truth of the matter was that it drove her desire to become even stronger. She wanted *him*, the real Dukat. Not a replica. And somewhere in her mind she must have known that it was really him. No copy could be that perfect… 

Kira knew what she had to do. She just had to accept what was and what couldn't be changed. So she rose from the grass covered slope leading down to the shore of the Holana River. Then she left the holodeck and headed for Dukat's quarters. 

*** Part 18 - THE MOMENT OF TRUTH ***

Kira's hand trembled as she reached out for the communicator at Dukat's quarters. She stopped in mid-movement. Hesitating. She drew a deep breath and asked herself if she was really, truly sure of what she was about to do. 

// It'll come to this eventually. I won't be able to resist him. I don't *want* to resist him! // she admitted to herself, and then she pressed the button. 

"Go away!" she heard a grumpy voice from inside. She hadn't gone straight to his quarters, but almost. All she had done was stop at the Temple for a few moments. Just long enough to calm down and ask herself what she was about to do. If that was what she really wanted. Her mind still said no. But she knew herself well enough to realize it was too late to listen to logic and sound mind. 

So she tapped the communicator again. 

"I said - go away!" 

"Dukat! It's me - Nerys!"

"Well, you should *definitely* go away!" he said, but his voice didn't sound quite so grumpy anymore. It sounded - positively - intrigued… 

"Come on. Let me in!" 

"You shouldn't come in here right now, Nerys!" 

"Would you stop playing hard to get and just let me come in!" she whispered. She felt really stupid standing there, having to *beg* to come in. And she was getting angry. 

"Enter!" he said and the doors finally opened. She stepped inside and the doors closed silently behind her. 

"Believe me Major, I am not playing *hard-to-get* with you!" 

Kira drank the vision of him. Her arousal was as strong as ever. He yet again sitting by the window. And the room was dark. Watching him sit there, made memories of a night - just recently - that she experienced, come to mind. The night which had lead to all of *this* 

She felt a knot in her throat. The want - the *need* for him was so strong. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked and looked out through the window. His fists were clenched and she could see that his desire - like hers - had not left him. "I don't think it's a very good idea for you to be here right now"

"Oh but I do!" she said and looked at him. 

* * * 

He couldn't believe his eyes. She was there, she had come to him voluntarily. But why? Did she come there to kill him for tricking her or to mock him for his desire for her? Or did she come there to… - he couldn't even finish the thought. He couldn't even look at her. Listening to her voice - soft and yet strangely coarse, as if husky from the desire he had lured out in her - was making it difficult enough on him. 

He stared out into space as he asked her what she was doing there. He let down his guard, revealing to her how unwise it was for her to be there right now. 

He had never had any intention of taking her against her will. And he wouldn't do that this time either. Not if he could help it. But she made it so difficult for him. 

Why did she come here? 

Slowly he turned around and looked into her eyes. And what he saw made him lose his mind once again. 

* * * 

Kira waited for him to turn his head around and look at her. When he finally did, she didn't hold back. She knew he could see what she came there for when she met his gaze to show him her need for him. That was all it took. He slid off the windowsill in a swift movement and he was with her in the blink of an eye. 

"Are you sure?" he almost cried. 

She just reached out and pulled him toward her. 

// Your hands on my thighs. Your mouth on mine. Your lips caressing my soft, burning skin. Your fingers tearing at my clothes. //

Nothing mattered any more. Just the feel of him close to her - only the scent of him. Kira inhaled deeply and swung her arms around him as he fought to get her panties off of her. The fragile fabric ripped beneath his strong hands and was turned into silky black shreds, which fell to the floor. Feverishly she helped get his trousers open and he almost didn't have time to pull them down before she was pushed up against the wall. Then he pressed himself into her with a groan deep down in his throat. 

United, finally. 

Lazily she watched his features. His face was so tense. The pleasure almost unbearable. She felt him fill the void in her. The void that had been there for so long. She had never felt so complete. He pushed harder as she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his wiry body to make him come closer - deeper inside her. She gasped for air for each thrust he made. She couldn't do anything but cling to him and enjoy the fierceness of their desire. He slipped his arms around her to keep her from sliding down and then - finally - their lips met. They kissed with a hunger that ripped through them like a forceful pain. 

There was nothing but an overwhelming need. No tenderness, no love - only that forceful need that had to be satisfied. Like starved beings eating for the first time they gorged on each other. 

"Oh, oh Nerys" he moaned and dug his head into her neck, she could feel him drinking her scent as if he couldn't get enough. And inside her she could feel the release build up so quickly. When she finally came in a violent cascade of feelings he joined her almost simultaneously. 

*** Part 19 - AFTERMATH ***

Dukat hugged her tenderly as he drew her closer to him. He felt the emotions take hold of them both. His entire body leant against hers as they stood clinging to each other by the door. She hadn't even had the chance to enter his quarters before he jumped her. She hadn't had much of a choice but to give in. Dukat felt embarrassed - an unusual and not particularly pleasant feeling. 

"I assure you, Nerys. I normally have some more finesse. I don't usually jump women like a crazed vole" he said dryly. "I do know how to make this a lot better."

Nerys lifted her hand and put a warm, soft finger against his lips. 

"Shhh, Dukat, I don't think we could ever top that if we tried a million times" she said. Her voice was inert and satisfied. He looked at her with surprise. He had thought that after giving into the desire - after satisfying it - she would turn back to the hostility they had shared for so long that it had become second nature to both of them. 

"I suppose you are right at that" he said and chuckled. He still felt the desire for her burn deep inside of him and he suspected nothing would ever make it go away completely. But for now it was something he could dismiss and he made himself concentrate on her for a little while. "But we've been waiting for this for a very long time." He knew he had wanted this for years, and if Nerys was ready to accept the truth, he knew she had too. 

He felt her stiffen in his arms and he could have kicked himself for the choice of words. He always had a way with words, but somehow, having her so close - he had let his guard down and he said what came to mind. Now how would she react?

Then she slackened against him and stood to her feet. He let go of the firm grip around her soft body and they parted. He felt such a sense of loss when he felt himself leave her. He wanted to excite her again, make her forget what she was about to do. Instead, he drew a deep breath and built up the walls that he always kept around his heart. He would not let her see how he truly felt. He closed his eyes. 

"Dukat… " she whispered. 

He slowly opened his eyes again, and she lifted her hand to touch his chin. He hungered for her tender caress. A jolt of something warm spreading in his chest made him tense up. 

"I realize there is no point in denying this, Dukat. I wanted you as much as you wanted me. I have always wanted you… I have already told you that, even if I didn't know it was you…" she smiled wryly. 

"But you have to realize - this isn't easy for me."

"Because of who I am… " he said curtly. 

"Because of who *we* are, Dukat…" she admitted.  
But suddenly the seriousness left her features and she smiled at him. 

"Let's go take a shower shall we?" 

He looked at her in utter amazement as she gave him a provocative glare. 

// What is she doing. Is she suggesting that we…? // 

Dukat felt his desire for her rise again. He had assumed she would turn around and run out of his quarters kicking and screaming once they were done. It seems he had misjudged the Major once again. That was something that seemed to be happening rather often these days. 

He followed her into the shower. 

* * * 

Kira never felt such desire in her entire life. Although there wasn't the most perfect lovemaking she had ever experienced. It was brute, quick and almost dirty. But she had wanted him too much. He had wanted *her* too much. And now? Now that they had satisfied that urgent need they would need time and patience to get to know each other. 

She realized she had never allowed him to get to know her or herself to get to know the man behind the image that was the former Prefect of Bajor. But he was no longer that man. She knew that as well as anything she had ever known. 

She saw him close up, as if he were one of those earth creatures - clams, was it? Shelled little animals that closed up at the first sign of danger. 

She realized at that very moment what power she had over Dukat. He had always told her that he found her fascinating, intriguing and interesting. Many were the words he had used to describe his feelings for her. They had included everything from those words to desire, lust and passion. But never had she realized there might be more to his feelings for her. 

But as he closed his eyes and tensed up she realized he braced himself to not allow her to hurt him. As if she really had the capacity to do that? 

As if he actually - loved - her? 

The thought struck her like a phasershot to the stomach and she shook it off of her instantly. She wasn't ready to deal with that. She was ready to deal with desire, passion and respect - even understanding. But love? No! 

Instead of acknowledging his feelings she told him how she felt. That it wasn't so easy for her to accept what had happened. 

But she wasn't ready to let go just yet either, so she lured him with her into the shower. She pushed away all the complex feelings for the moment and wanted nothing more than to enjoy him fully. Now that she had accepted that she wanted him she realized. 

// He is *the* most attractive man I have ever seen in my entire life. His body talks to mine in a way that I have been fighting for *years* // 

Fascinated she watched him get undressed. This was the first time she saw him naked and she couldn't get enough. His waist was firm and not an ounce of extra fat was anywhere to be seen. His body was covered with small scales, smooth like her skin. The ridges created a complex pattern on his chest and abdominal area. He was slender, but she had realized that as she was holding him close to her. But it was the same kind of slenderness - a strong wiry body - like that of any predator. He was stronger than he appeared - she made no mistake about that. 

He had lifted her up and pushed her against the wall as if she was light as a feather, and the memory of their actions made her mouth dry and the desire was back. She drank the vision of him as he got rid of his clothes. Almost subconsciously she took her own clothes off and realized he watched her as intently as she did him. 

But that didn't stop her from letting her eyes feast on the sight of him. His muscular, slender legs. Watching him was a delight. The alienness of him was intoxicating. The scent of his pheromones could make her head spin and she could see that her nearness had the same effect on him. He leaned forward and scraped their clothes off the floor and threw them into the recycler and then he turned on the shower. Together they stepped into the warm jets of water. 

*** Part 20 - CARING? ***

_"So if you're wondering_  
What I'm feeling  
Just look me straight in the heart  
I'll show you seeing is believing  
So if you're ever in doubt  
Just look me straight in the heart" 

_'Look Me Straight in the Heart',  
Helix; It's a Business Doing Pleasure 1993_

* * *

They stumbled out of the shower within a couple of minutes. They washed themselves off hastily and reached out for each other again. Kira went first, making her way to his bed. Dukat flung his arm out in a rapid movement to stop her. 

"Don't!" he shouted. 

Kira let out a yelp and he realized that it was too late. She had stepped right into the shimmering pieces of glass that still lay sprayed all over the floor in front of the wall where he had thrown it. Quickly he scooped her up in his arms. She let out a surprised cry and looked at him. His eyes were filled with concern. 

"What happened here?" she moaned. Her foot didn't hurt *that* much, but glass was the last thing she'd expected to step on. 

"I had to release some tension… " Dukat admitted sheepishly as he carefully walked over to the bed. She looked knowingly at him. It made him slightly uncomfortable - she could see that. 

"Are you okay?" he asked to change the subject away from the frustration he had felt when he had left her in the holodeck. . 

"Yes, I think so."

"Let me see" he said and gently put her down on his bed. 

He crouched before her and grabbed her foot in his warm hand. The sensation was surprisingly sensual and Kira had already forgotten the dull pain in her foot. She was bleeding. Not much, but he carefully removed the piece of glass that had dug itself into her sensitive skin. Then he leant his head forward and licked away the blood. 

"I knew you were always out for my blood!" Kira gasped as his tongue sent tingling sensations up her leg to the insides of her thighs - all the way up to the center of her being. She leaned backwards as she somewhat curiously waited to see what he was going to do. Dukat watched her intently and his eyes locked onto hers. Kira trembled when she saw the desire in his eyes. 

// This man is so dangerous. I know that, and yet I can only feel an incredible exhilaration when I see how much he wants me… // 

"You know Nerys, now that I have you, I won't be able to let you go!" he moaned as he slid up on the bed to embrace her. "You've shown me the Celestial Temple and I won't be able to let go of it - of you!" 

"You can't or you won't let me go?" she said, with a slight edge to her voice. 

"I can't Nerys. I just can't… "

"Why?" she asked. She wondered if he would tell her the truth she had seen in his eyes, only moments earlier. Then all of the sudden she wished she hadn't asked, because if he answered, what was she going to say? She didn't want to hurt him. 

She gasped - as much at the realization as the caresses he gave her. His hands were paving their way up her flat stomach and grasped her full breasts. His elegant fingers played with her nipples and watched them as they grew harder underneath his gentle fingers. 

He looked up at her, and didn't answer. She let out a sigh of relief. She wouldn't have known what to say. 

"I'll do it better this time" he promised as his lips left trails of kisses on her bare chest and made its way up to her neck and ears. Kira whimpered and tilted her head so he would reach the sensitive spots on her neck and chin. He lifted himself so they looked each other in the eyes. She could feel his desire as he pressed himself against her thigh. She spread her legs to invite him in. 

"Oh, no, Nerys. Not yet. Definitely not yet… " he whispered into her ear. "Do you want me? Tell me you want me Nerys?" he begged. "I need to hear you say it" 

She opened her eyes and stared into those ice-blue wells. She could see the pain hidden deep underneath that posturing. He was surprisingly full of emotions. Emotions she had never allowed herself to see before. Or emotions he had never allowed her to see… She couldn't bear it. 

"I want you, Dukat. I want you - and I need you!" she gasped as he kept caressing her gently. 

She had meant to say it only in regard for the desire she felt, but as soon as she opened her mouth and uttered those words she knew she meant them, from the bottom of her heart. It scared her. But the tenderness that flooded those ice-blue eyes made her forget the uneasy feeling she had experienced. 

"Thank you Nerys… " he whispered and kissed her. Their lips met and Kira forgot everything but the soft touch of his lips against hers. This was so different from what they had experienced earlier. His surprising behavior puzzled her for a moment. He was so tender, so gentle and so careful, as if he thought she would break if he touched her or caressed her to harshly. As if he was afraid that she would evaporate before his very eyes at any given time. 

And then she realized the truth. That was what he thought - that this was it. He wanted to make the most of it because he thought this was the first and the last time he was going to be allowed to make love to her - to really make *love*. What happened when she entered his quarters wasn't making love. That was pure, animal sex. Fulfilling a need, like eating when you had starved far too long. 

She reached out to him, lifted his head and made him meet her gaze once again. 

"Dukat… " she mumbled and kissed him softly. "You are so beautiful… " That wasn't what she had intended to say. So she tried again. But his eyes darkened at her words and his touch became more impatient. Meeting his desire she pulled him closer and helped him find his way. He groaned. 

"Oh Nerys, I can't!"

"It's okay. I am ready for you Dukat. Oh, I am so ready!" she cried and dug her nails into his back as he pushed inside her. She met his movements with an enthusiasm she hadn't felt for... she had *never* felt! 

// Just my luck to find this kind of passion in *his* arms! // was her last thought before he pushed her over the edge. 

After, he pulled away from her and put his hands over his eyes. He looked tired, and when he spoke his voice was tired too. 

"I hadn't meant it this way… " he groaned. 

"I think it's flattering, Dukat… Don't beat yourself up about it."

"It's just that… are you leaving now?" 

His voice was curt. 

"You want me to leave?" she teased. 

He took his arm away from his eyes and stared intensely at her. Then he grabbed her arm so hard it almost hurt. Almost. 

"No! No, I don't want you to leave."

"Okay, Dukat. I am *not* leaving."

He stared at her even more. His eyes narrowed to slits. 

"What are you trying to pull here, Major?" he grunted. 

"I am not trying to *pull* anything. It's just that we do need some time to work this out. We need to talk"

Kira sat up in his bed, butt naked. It didn't bother her a bit as his eyes locked onto her slender shape and drank the sight of her. Maybe this would give her an unusual advantage when they talked? He always was very good with words, leaving her in a position where she usually didn't stand a chance. 

"Oh, so *now* you want to talk. If I'd known making love to you would make you want to talk to me I'd have done it ages ago!" he said, regaining his composure and a slight smile twinkled in his eyes. Then he turned serious as he saw the look on her face. 

* * *

// I love this woman // he thought. // I've loved her for a long time. But I never *ever* thought she might feel the same way. But now I am *that* close to having her. I can't let her go. What am I going to do? // he wondered to himself. 

"I've hated you for so long, Dukat… " she whispered so tiredly. "I am not sure I know how to stop. "

"I could always help you" he said lightly, hiding how much it meant to him. 

"I think I'd need that. Why don't you start by telling me about yourself? Tell me why you did so many of the things you did. Make me understand."

"You know a certain amount of it" he said and sat up against the wall. He looked at her and he knew some of the fear shone through. 

*** Part 21 - UNDERSTANDINGS ***

Kira braced herself. Would he start lecturing? Dukat always had a way of getting on her nerves with his posturing. And it always rubbed her the wrong way. She couldn't stand sitting there listening to him if all she was going to hear was one of his long-winded speeches. Yet she didn't move. She sat there. Waiting for him to begin. 

But Dukat seemed uneasy. As if he didn't know where to start. That in itself made her less judgmental towards him. He drew a deep breath before he started talking. 

"How far back do you want me to start?" he asked. 

"From the beginning." 

Kira hadn't known it, but thinking about Dukat as a young boy made her realize how little she knew about him. How little she knew about what kind of upbringing he had had. What had made him into the man he was today? 

Dukat drew a deep breath, looked at her, a little uneasy, and then he started talking. His voice was a bit hesitant. Something Kira had never heard before. He always seemed so full of confidence and always seemed so sure of himself. 

"I grew up in a large family. My father was very strict and my mother was the most beautiful creature you could possibly imagine. I think they had a fairly good marriage. I was the oldest son of four and my father always wanted me to follow in his footsteps to become a military. He was very proud of me. And I was proud to have his consent. I never questioned his authority. At least not until I grew older. As you well know Major, family is very important to my people."

Kira nodded. She knew that on Cardassia families often lived several generations under the same roof. The elderly were regarded with great respect and admiration and it was considered a great achievement if you became a high-ranking officer in the Cardassian Military. Staying on top of all the intricacies and plotting was a full-time job. And Dukat had indeed done well for himself from a Cardassian view-point. 

"During the Occupation of Bajor. I ran it with a firm hand, but back then I honestly believed I had Bajor's best interest at heart. It never even occurred to me that I was being cruel. It is strange to look back at it now. I realize of course that Cardassia had nothing to do on Bajor in the first place. But I was just a child when the Occupation on Bajor began. To me Cardassia had always been there. To me Bajor was a part of Cardassia. And we had always been taught that the Cardassians were the superior race. I guess I still believe that in some regards… "

He smiled at her and Kira couldn't help smiling back. It was such proud smile and she could - after all - understand his pride in his own kind. She felt the same way about Bajor and Bajorans. 

"… and in some ways it is probably right" he continued. "In other ways it is very wrong!" he agreed when he saw Kira's face. 

"But what you have to understand is that when I first came to Bajor, most Cardassians regarded you as little more than cattle. A resource to take advantage of."

"But after being on Bajor - working with Bajorans for so many years you must have realized that was *wrong* !" Kira spat. 

"Of course. On some level I did. That was when I tried to alleviate some of the pressure we put on your people. But - by then - it was already much too late and we were caught up in the resistance. I had become some kind of token of hatred for your entire race. It was all too late… "

He sounded tired and drew a deep breath before continuing.

"I regret many of the things I did on Bajor - now. But looking back I realize there wasn't much I could have done to prevent it anyway. You have to believe me when I say that Major. I know you used to look upon me like I was some kind of monster. Some kind of omnipotent Cardassian dictator who could stop all the atrocities done unto your people - or sanction them at my mere will. But that isn't true, and deep in your heart I think you know that…"

Kira nodded. These were the truths she had never allowed herself to realize. It had been so easy to blame *him* for all the wrongs done unto Bajor by the Cardassians. She felt a slight pang of guilt and shame for putting all this on him. But at the same time - he had been no saint. He had done some really despicable things. She couldn't lose sight of that. She *shouldn't* lose sight of that. 

"I reached my goal and I was satisfied with myself for a while. I always wanted power. When I became a gul, I felt I had really achieved something and gotten some of the power I so desperately desired, but I wanted to achieve more. My biggest triumph was during the Federation / Dominion War. I had the entire Alpha Quadrant at my feet …"

"I don't want to hear about your glorious military career!" Kira spat. 

"Would you just hear me out Major?" he said with his ridged brow lifted at her. "You asked me to tell you what motivated me and why I did some of the things I did"

"All right" she said. "Go on… "

"Your wish is my command, my dearest Nerys… " he said with his normal mocking tone. 

"I always thought I could do very well for Cardassia and I always thought I was right. Being a high-ranking officer in the Cardassian Military, being the advisor to the Detapa Council, the Prefect of Bajor or a Gul - people get intimidated by you. Nobody ever bothered - or dared - to tell me the truth. I never saw any wrong in what I did. Until I met you, Nerys. You and your damned friends at this space station!" 

Dukat rose from the bed and started pacing as he always did when he got worked up. 

"You made me see and realize that maybe my choices hadn't been the right ones. Maybe I could have set my priorities straight…The gods know you gave me opportunities. But I was far too busy in looking out for myself - and for my family - to see it. Far too busy reaching that high position or that power I so craved. Ziyal saw it and she tried to convince me of letting go of it. She told me the price would be too high. She tried to make me see it through the eyes of a Bajoran and she tried to make me do the right thing. She was the only one who could - the only one who was brave enough to stand up against me. Naprem was always so lenient. She never questioned me. Just like none of my subordinates questioned me - or my actions. But when Ziyal died. When I nearly killed Sisko and after that incident with the Pah Wraith I started listening to what you, Ziyal and Sisko had been trying to tell me for years."

"That you were wrong? That you were a despicable man?" Kira said flatly. 

"Yes, Nerys. Yes!" he cried. 

Dukat stopped pacing and stared back into her eyes with a different fire in his gaze. The fire of pain - of realization - of guilt. "I can not undo what I have done, Nerys. All I can do is try and make amends. What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, Dukat. There's nothing you *can* do to change the past. You are right about that. But what we can do is try to get to know one another. To begin a new chapter in our lives."

Kira silenced and drew a deep breath. She had been affected by his words. It was as if he had finally managed to open her eyes to the fact that no matter what kind of man he was. He was only a *man*. Not the monster she had made him out to be. She had always used Dukat as a manifestation of all the wrongs Cardassia had done unto Bajor. She realized in this moment that that was just an easy way out. An easy way to avoid having to deal with the feelings she indeed had for this man. 

Kira let out a sigh, almost a sob. Dukat moved over to her and wiped the tears off her cheeks. 

"Don't cry, Nerys. I can't bear to see you cry" he whispered. 

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. 

"I don't know if I can ever forgive you. But I am beginning to understand. I see where you're coming from. I understand that this isn't all your own doing. I have always hated you with a fierceness that was beyond comprehension Dukat!" 

She got up and - like he had done moments earlier - she started pacing along the side of his bed. 

* * *

Dukat watched her as she silently walked to and fro along the furniture. He didn't say anything for a while. He just watched her struggling with the turmoil of emotions inside her. He didn't want to interrupt. But he had to say it. 

"You *know* why you hated me so much, Nerys. Don't you?" 

She stopped cold and stared back at him. 

"No I don't!" she cried. "I don't want to hear it!"  
Just like a child she covered her ears with her hands trying to shut out the truth. 

"You and I, Nerys. We are one and the same. You know that! The bantering, the arguments -the teasing. It is as old as time itself… "

"No, Dukat. No please don't say it!"

Dukat rose from the bed and caught her in mid-movement. 

"Nerys. Look at me!"

She stared into his eyes. Those big, brown eyes were filled with fear and anticipation. And finally he opened his mouth and said it: 

"I love you, Nerys. I love you. I have always loved you. "

His voice was so soft, so tender. And so vibrant. It reached inside her heart and it felt like he tore it out of her chest. 

Sobbing, she fell into his arms and Dukat knew they had at least gotten one step closer to each other. Maybe - after all was said and done - there was a chance? He knew he would fight tooth and nail to get her to accept the truth - and embrace it. 

***Part 22 WHAT NEXT? ***

"I didn't want to hear that!" Kira said and stopped sobbing against his shoulder. "And I sure as hell didn't want *this* to happen!" she said angrily. Then she pulled back from his embrace. 

// Oh, here we go! // Dukat thought. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, in a yielding gesture. He knew there was no way to fight this. 

This was what he had been waiting for. Her anger and her accusations. No matter how much he wanted her to love him and admit to the truth - he knew they had some really tough times ahead of them. She wouldn't believe he had changed. And now that the desire was satiated - at least for the time being - she would be able to start thinking rationally again. And maybe, just maybe she would be able to go back to the way things were before. *He* couldn't - but he wasn't so sure of himself in this matter that he could assume Kira could not. 

"So..?" he purred. "What do you suggest we do now?" 

"I don't know Dukat. Prophets I don't know! You say you love me, but how can you? You don't *know* me!" 

Dukat took one step closer to her and put his hand under her chin. He pushed gently to make her meet his gaze. 

"I know you a lot better than you think, Major."

"And I know you *too* well!" she said. "I don't *want* to get to know you any better!"

Dukat stepped back again and his face closed, just like it had earlier. 

"Why do you keep doing this?" he asked. 

"Doing what?" she spat. 

"Denying the truth? Denying that you have come to realize that I am not the man you thought I was. That I am indeed more complex than you'd like me to be. That you are incredibly attracted to this complexity, despite your claim that you *prefer simpler men*?" 

"I know I am attracted to you!" she said tiredly. "But maybe that isn't enough Dukat. I know so many other things. There are facts - about you - that I just can't dismiss. I know that you are the man who sent thousands - millions of Bajorans to their deaths during the Occupation. I know that you are the man who was prepared to kill your own daughter to save your skin. I know that you even disowned your own daughter because she fell in love with a man that you despised. I know that you beat Sisko up to a bloody mess and left him on a planet where he could have died. I know that you turned your back on the Federation and joined the Dominion and I know you were prepared to sacrifice millions of lives in order to gain control over the Alpha Quadrant. I know that you were prepared to use the advantage you got when we triggered the safety protocol on the station to get *Terok Nor* back. I know that… "

"All right, Major. That's enough. You made your point!" 

Dukat's voice was harsh. He got up from the bed and carefully made his way through the room. He pulled out a robe from one of his closets and put it on. As if being naked suddenly made him feel unprotected and uneasy. 

"Is it? Is it enough?" she asked. 

He turned around to watch her where she was sitting. He could see the tears running down her cheeks, but he didn't walk up to her to wipe them away. He felt like turning around and rubbing his own eyes. The tears pressed on behind the lids and he had to swallow hard to not yield to them. This woman had a way of cutting his heart to pieces that no other woman had ever had. Not even Naprem. 

// Well // Dukat thought. // Maybe that's because Naprem never hated me.// 

For the first time Dukat realized that maybe, just maybe Kira would never give in to the feelings he knew she had for him. Because he *had* done some despicable things in his life. There was no way of denying that. And he just wanted to forget it all. But was it fair of him to ask Nerys to forget - and forgive? Maybe he didn't deserve forgiveness? Maybe he didn't deserve her love? Even though he *had* changed. 

Dukat moved back to the bed where Kira pulled the covers over her. She didn't make any attempts to leave. At least that was encouraging. But she too, seemed uncomfortable being naked. Especially now that he was half dressed. 

"If you still hate me that much. Why are you still here?" he asked softly. His heart pounded in his chest. He waited to see what she was going to do. Would she leave? 

"I don't know, Dukat!" 

She tried to avoid the truth, but then she looked at him. "Well, I do know, but I am not ready to accept it. Can you understand that?" 

"I am not dense, Major!" he growled. 

For the first time in several minutes, a faint smile showed on her lips. 

"No, that was something I could never accuse you of. Sometimes I wish you had been, because that way you wouldn't be nearly half as dangerous as you are."

"I am no longer dangerous, Nerys!" he whispered and looked her deeply into the eyes. 

"Oh yes, you are still dangerous, Dukat. Your enemies still have reason to fear you. Even if your loyalties may have changed. Even if you indeed are on my side, on *our* side. You are still dangerous!"

Dukat didn't answer. He knew she was right. He sat down on the bed, pushed himself back to the wall and stretched his legs. 

"So what do we do now?" he asked. He wanted to let her set the pace. She had more demons to struggle with where he was concerned, than he ever had with her. Sure, she had killed countless Cardassians during the war. But he had more of a detached view on that. There were war conditions. In war, people died. He had accepted that. She still viewed him as the one who was responsible for that war. Illogical, but feelings were seldom logical. He had to let her come to that conclusion on her own. He knew that her intelligence told her the truth. But her feelings? That was another matter entirely. 

"Oh, I don't know… " she hissed. 

"Can you live without me?" he asked gently. "Be honest, Nerys. Can you? After knowing what we really have together?"

She looked up at him about to answer but he held his hand up. 

"Just hear me out. If you can, and if you tell me so - I will leave. I will go back to Cardassia and send another man in my place. That way, I'll be out of your hair for good. I want you, Nerys. But not just this!" he said, referring to their sexual encounter. "I want you - more than just the sex. I want it all - body, heart and soul!" 

 

"You never did settle for half measures!" she said tiredly. 

"No, I don't see why I should. Either, we work this through, and you and I become lovers and share it all, or we don't go further! As much as it pains me. I would rather be without you, than have you in my bed, knowing that deep down inside, although you want me, you still hated me. I couldn't live with that!" 

"I never knew you had such depths…" Kira said softly. 

He looked up at her, his eyes burned with an intensity she was beginning to know. 

"This is what I keep telling you. You don't really listen, do you? You really don't know me at all. You never allowed yourself to get to know me!"

"And what do you call *this*?" she spat angrily at his accusation. 

He didn't answer. Just waited for her to reply to what he just asked. 

* * *

Kira looked at Dukat where he was sitting. He had said it. He had told her how he felt and now she had to deal with it. And he had really put her on the spot. Could she live without him? Oh, she probably could. But what kind of a life would it be? She had known the ultimate passion in his arms. She knew that. She had had enough relationships to know that nothing had even come close to this. Not even Shakaar. Definitely not Odo…

*Odo!*. Prophets! How would he react to this? Their relationship had never amounted to much. But Kira knew he still loved her. 

But she couldn't let her life be ruled by others and what they thought. Sisko would probably fall of his chair if he found out she and Dukat were… lovers. Bashir would probably not say much. Odo would be hurt, but he would probably understand. He was the one who knew her best of all the friends she had made during her time on the station. Garak? She didn't care what Garak thought. 

// Quark - that toad - already knows about it… //

"Nerys?" Dukat said. 

"All right, Dukat. I don't want you to leave! But don't push me, okay?"

Dukat moved closer and pulled her into his arms. His heart stopped pounding and he leaned his head back as he felt Nerys relax in his arms. He leaned down to kiss her and she responded feverishly as if seeking comfort and oblivion in the arms of the man who put her in this dilemma in the first place. 

*** Part 23 DISAPPROVAL ***

Kira left Dukat's quarters long before she had to go on her next shift. They had talked for the better part of the night and she was tired. Tired because she hadn't slept much but she was also emotionally drained. For the first time since she became the Bajoran Liaison officer to the Federation Major Kira Nerys contemplated calling in sick although she wasn't. But she knew that would do her no good. Her head was so full of complex thoughts she wouldn't be able to sleep and she needed to talk to *someone"

// Prophets, how I miss Jadzia! // she sighed as she stepped into the sonic shower. Kira didn't want to think about how Jadzia had died. 

// But I can't just dismiss these things! // she thought. // If… //

She couldn't believe she was actually contemplating a relationship with Dukat.

// But I *am* and if we are going to succeed I have to deal with these things. //

But there was so much to deal with. So many things that she had to think through. 

She stepped out of the shower, got dressed and headed for Ops. 

* * *

"Hello Major!" O'Brien said cheerfully when she entered the Bridge from the turbolift. 

"Miles" she said without smiling. 

"Major? Is there anything wrong?"

Chief O'Brien looked at her. His eyes were concerned. 

// Can I talk to O'Brien about this?// she wondered. // Would he understand? // 

No, O'Brien really hated Cardassians in general and Dukat in particular. 

"Morning Kira!" said Ezri Dax in her normal teasing voice. "Rough night?" 

"Geez, I must look like I've been hit by a runaway shuttle!" Kira said dryly. 

"You look somewhat - tired!" Worf stated matter-of-factly.. 

Well, she would indeed not be talking to Worf, that was for sure. Sisko? Would Sisko understand? 

// He *is* the Emissary after all. Maybe he can give me some answers? // Kira thought and made her way to Sisko's office. The others watched her intently as she left Ops without so much as looking at her own station. But Kira didn't notice. She just walked past them and entered Sisko's office. 

"Major, Good morning!" he said with a wide grin. He looked like he indeed was on top of the world this morning. And then it struck her. Kasidy Yates had returned to the station the day before. No wonder he was in a good mood. 

// I wish I could have such a carefree relationship! // Kira sighed. But she knew if she were to pursue something with Dukat it would be anything BUT carefree. She had no illusions. 

"What can I do for you Major?" he asked and leaned forward over the desk, absent-mindedly playing with the baseball that lay there at all times. 

"Uhm…I don't really know where to start, Captain. Have you got a moment to spare?"

Sisko nodded and with a gesture he invited Kira to sit. 

"It is regarding a somewhat personal matter." Kira fidgeted uncomfortably on the chair Sisko had invited her to sit on. She sprung up from the chair almost immediately and started pacing. She caught herself getting irritated over how much that simple habit reminded her of the man she couldn't stop thinking about. Angrily she forced herself to sit down again before she continued: "I would rather speak to you as the Emissary of the Prophets than the Captain of this station if you don't mind." 

"Oh, I see… might this have anything to do with a certain *Cardassian*?" Sisko spat out the last word as if it tasted badly. 

Kira stared at Sisko. 

"How did you know?" 

"It is difficult to keep a secret on a station this small" he concluded. "I heard about the commotion at Quark's a few days ago, and someone saw you leave Dukat's quarters a while later. 

"Dax?"

Sisko laughed humorlessly. 

"Let's just say, that this someone also had your best interest at heart."

Sisko rose from the chair behind the desk and stood to look out through the window. He was still playing with the baseball as if the whole conversation was as unpleasant to him as it was for her. 

"I take it you have some unresolved feelings for Dukat since you need guidance from the Emissary?" Sisko said when he turned around and looked sternly at her. 

"I have a *lot* of unresolved feelings for that man."

"Hm, I see. But this time it is - different, is it not?" 

"How do you know all this?" Kira said. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable and by the way Sisko was acting she could tell he was not happy about the turn of events. 

"Listen, Major. You know better than anyone what Dukat has done. You know better than anyone that he is not to be trusted and you ask how I know that you spent the entire last night in his quarters?"

Kira blushed violently. She rose from the chair and started pacing again. 

"You don't have to be so blunt!" she spat defensively. 

"I want you to tell me what is going on."

"Prophets, I don't want to think about what is going on! I think I am falling in *love* with him!" 

As soon as Kira let the words slip out of her mouth she knew they weren't true. She knew she wasn't falling in love with him. She already was!

"In *love*?" Sisko couldn't have sounded more surprised and distraught if Bajor had exploded right before his face. "Heh… you are trying to pull my leg, aren't you?" Sisko said and pointed at her with disbelief in his eyes. "You are joking. Tell me you are joking!" 

He stared at her and his uneasy smile faded as she looked into his eyes without laughing. 

Kira kept pacing and said.  
"I wish I was. I wish I *was*, Emissary. But I am not!" 

Then Kira began explaining everything that had happened. Well, not *everything* but most of it. How she had talked to Dukat. How she had been forced to admit to the attraction she had always felt for him. 

"Attraction? Well, that's another thing entirely Nerys. I am sure I don't have to tell *you* that! I have been attracted to many women in my life and some of them have most definitely not been good for me. But the good thing about attraction is that once you acted upon it - it is *gone*"

"That's just it, Captain!" Kira said with tears in her eyes. She could see the disbelief coming back into Sisko's eyes as the tears ran down her cheeks. "It doesn't go away. It won't. I just want to - be with him! I can't believe it either. But he has changed!" 

"Major!" Sisko said soothingly. "Maybe you should take a few days off. Go to Bajor. Visit the Temple. Go see Shakaar or go on a vacation with Dukat, if that is necessary. But you *have* to snap out of it!" 

"Snap out of it?" Kira shouted. "I am sorry, Captain! But that is just not going to happen. This isn't going to go away. If I thought it would. I would satisfy my libido with that *Cardassian* and forget all about it. But I *know* it is not that easy. If I thought that would help I would have never mentioned it to you at all!" 

Kira stared at Sisko with fire in her eyes. Then she turned around and saw the entire crew at Ops staring at her with sheer amazement. She wondered at that moment, how much they had heard. How much did they know? How much had Dax told them?

// Who, among these will stand by my side? Who among these will help me through this time of need? // she wondered. 

Obviously, the Emissary did not intend to help her. 

"All right Captain. I'll take you up on that offer for a vacation. I need to sort things out. But if you think I am going to *snap out of it* - I wouldn't hold my breath. I think you know I wouldn't fool myself into believing I was in *love* with Dukat very easily!" 

"No" Sisko said reluctantly. "I suppose you wouldn't at that… I am sorry Major. You just caught me by surprise, that's all. If this is really what you want. I guess we'll all have to find a way to live with it. Dukat will remain on the station either way. So… " 

"This isn't what I *want*, Benjamin. I would never have wanted this in a million years. But now this *is* and I have to deal with it."

"I know, Nerys. I know" 

Sisko turned silent for a second and then he looked at her again. "I just hope that you aren't setting yourself up for heartache that's all. Dukat isn't known for his more *tender* feelings you know."

"I know." Kira said and turned around to walk out of his office. 

"Nerys.. " he said and she stopped and turned around to look at him. "If you need to talk. You know where to find me. The next few days or weeks won't be easy you know. Many people will have a very hard time accepting this… "

"Yes, I am aware of that, Captain. Thank you." Kira said and left. 

When she came back to Ops everyone began working again. Knowing her temper, nobody dared even breathe about what just took place in the Captain's office. But Kira wondered how many of them *knew*. And what in the Prophet's names were they thinking? 

END

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: This story came to me after thinking about what would happen if Kira ended up in Dukat's room and wasn't able to leave. Not because he trapped her there but for some other outside reason and ended up having to stay because Dukat was doing something she couldn't very well interrupt… and that's where it began *grin*  
> Beta: Thanks to KLINGON for his ideas & input.


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